You: The Brand | Part Five - Cover Letters

Gentle readers, no one likes to write a cover letter. No one.

And here's why: It's hard. It's hard to get all that awesome about you squished into a couple of short paragraphs, all the while also saying how amazing the company you're reaching out to is.

As part of this series on branding yourself (you can read the first post here), your MatchGirl wants to take you back to basics. Sure it's great to have yourself up-to-date on every social network and it's amazing if you work in a creative industry and can make a website or resume that gets you some press or attention. But all that means little if you can't do the work and if you don't cover the basics.

Just like when you are re-building your resume (though, really, you should have done that by now), you need to be very specific in your cover letter. A one size fits all approach does not work here.

Some tips to get you going:

1. Pull the key words out of the job description. These key words will become the basis for your letter.
2. What are the main areas of expertise the job posting lists? How do these fit with what you've accomplished. Use the top ones to form the meat of your letter.
3. What is the company up to? If the company name is on the posting, do a little legwork and find out what's great about the company - what you are interested in and think about how that applies to the job for which you're applying. 
4. Keep it short. You're not writing a novel , or even an essay, here. Three or four short paragraphs will do it. You need to whet their appetite for finding out more about you.

Writing a killer cover takes time. And the time is worth it. The more you write, the more you tweak them to fit each different application, the easier they will come. And, as always, like anything in your job hunt, there is no shame in asking a pal in the industry to take a look at it for you. That's what friends are for!

What are some of your best cover letter tips?

How to Stay Motivated While Unemployed

Ah, gentle readers. A lot of people have been asking lately how your MatchGirl stays motivated to keep up this blog (and others) while searching for a full time job and doing a bit of freelancing. How does she keep going when the pay-off doesn't seem so immediate?

The answer isn't simple. There are certainly days when a Netflix marathon seems much more enticing than writing, emailing or ... pretty much anything else. But staying motivated is a mindset.

To-do lists are your best friend. Promise. They are a way to keep you motivated and feeling accomplished all at once.

Timers are good, too. Say you are going to write for an hour? Set your kitchen timer, put aside other distractions and just write. When the timer beeps, get up, walk around the room, go for a walk around the block, and then move on to the next item on your list. The same goes for replying to e-mails, or reaching out to potential employers.

Bribe yourself. Really want to watch the season finale of Downton Abbey? To eat that last piece of cake in the fridge? Wait. Finish your work first. Reward yourself for what you've done. Not what you're planning on doing.

Staying motivated is hard. YourMatchGirl isn't saying otherwise. But it's important. Make a mini-schedule for yourself and get your work done. And, equally as important, know when to set your work aside and pay attention to the people around you.

Good luck!

Your Fair Share

"Consideration for the rights and feelings of others is not merely a rule for behavior in public but the very foundation upon which social life is built.
Rule of etiquette the first—which hundreds of others merely paraphrase or explain or elaborate—is:
Never do anything that is unpleasant to others.
Never take more than your share—whether of the road in driving a car, of chairs on a boat or seats on a train, or food at the table."
--Emily Post, Etiquette

As we keeping talking about the 99% and the 1% (refer to this post to see what you MatchGirl has to say on the subject) and the wealth gap or income gap. And as we enter a presidential election year (hint: not the most important public official you vote for), and watch a crazy Republican primary taking place, it's easy to forget that life can be broken down into some pretty simple tenets. And that perhaps if we took a moment to reflect on them, we'd all be living a bit better right now.

The rule to live by, gentle readers, the golden rule, as it were, is sometimes hard to stick to, but it's the most important: Treat people like you yourself want to be treated.
Be nice.
Be kind.
Say excuse me, pardon me, thank you and you're welcome.
Hold the door for the person behind you
Stand up for a harried parent, an elderly person or an injured person on public transport.
Speak your mind, but don't be cruel.
Think before you speak.
Treat people like you yourself wish to - feel you deserve to - be treated.

And, this, gentle readers, from Miss Emily Post's 1922 Etiquette (now in its 18th Edition), never take more than your share.
Don't be greedy.

Work hard. Reap the reward. Sure.
But take what's your's.
That's enough.

Your MatchGirl leaves you with this (repeated from above): "Consideration for the rights and feelings of others is not merely a rule for behavior in public but the very foundation upon which social life is built."

Let's remember that, shall we?

Year In Review

Ah, gentle readers, as December rolls in and 2011 comes to a close, it's time that your MatchGirl started to think of all the changes that have occurred in the past year.

There are a lot.

Friends have gotten married and divorced. Babies have been born. Celebrations have been shared. Losses have been mourned.

Boyfriend started a new job just to start another a couple of month later.

Your MatchGirl got a promotion. She met some really cool people. She started speaking more. Writing more. Networking more.

The year has flown and sometimes I wonder, "What do I have to show for it?"
I'm still skint, after all.

But, gentle readers, though money is a big concern (especially living in New York; especially as we move forward and start to plan the rest of our life together and all that awesome yet pricey stuff that goes with it), it's not everything. It can't be. It shouldn't be.

Looking back at the past year, money aside, your MatchGirl has a lot to be excited about. A lot to be proud of. A lot to be grateful for.

Here are some, by no means all, of the highlights:

• Boyfriend and I moved in together. Solidifying an already strong relationship. Moving forward into some serious, fun and terrifying territory.
• I got a promotion. After doing all the social media for my company, without it as part of my job description, my hard work and initiative was rewarded with a change in title and responsibility (and a new desk on the "cool" side of the office).
• The Domino Project, powered by Amazon, conceived of by Seth Godin, invited me to be part of the Street Team. Through this project, I met an amazing and supportive group of people. We share visions and projects and support each other how we can, with the resources that we've got. Some projects mean more to some than others and it all goes around. But this is a smart group of people, scattered across the globe. I'm proud to have been chosen for this project and honored and humbled to be amongst them.
• I made some new friends. I love my "urban family" (ht Nick Ramsey), the one that has been growing since I've been in New York - the one I spend holidays with, celebrate weddings and birth announcements and crazy dance parties with, the one that holds me up when I am down - but I've been really excited to meet some new people - who work in my industry, who share my passions, who offer helping hands "just because" - and to get to know them as friends. You all know who you are. Thanks for coming into my life.
• I celebrated. I saw friends - old and new - bring gorgeous children into this world. I traveled, and stayed home, for weddings of people who mean the world to me. I laughed at speeches by multiple brothers-of-the-groom. I cried at at least one first dance. 
• I traveled. Not far, but to places new and old. With Boyfriend. We brought out the the worst and the best in each other. And we explored the ideas of new possibilities for the two of us, as we build our life together.

What changes has 2011 brought into your life, dear readers? What are some of the best things that have happened to you?

What do you wish for in 2012?

I'd love for you to share your thoughts in the comments.

Discipline

I've been losing it lately, gentle readers. My discipline that is.

Bear with me as I wrap my head around the balance of work, life, the holidays, and sharing my musings with you in this small space.

Your MatchGirl has always been good at managing her time and her productivity. At not needing hands to lead her. At not needing too much guidance.

That said, she has never been exactly what one would call disciplined.
To write, though, one needs some discipline.
And so it goes.

Thanks

Ah gentle readers, what a crazy week this has been.

Your MatchGirl must apologize for the lack of posts. Traveling and celebrating and wishing well ... not so conducive for blog writing. Perhaps very good for my sanity and clarity, however.
I'm sure you've already forgiven my brief silence.

And, as this is the week we give thanks, the time we spend with friends and loved ones - our families away from our families - This will be the only post of this week.


I am certainly thankful for a lot of things in my life. I don't want to take up too much of your time. I'd much prefer that you spend that time with those you are dear to you, who inspire you, who push you, rather than reading this little blog (at least this week, anyway).


Because your MatchGirl feels that we can be constantly inspired.
That we can be constantly challenged.
That we must greet every new obstacle as an opportunity.
That we must face every hurdle with a smile.

And we have friends we can lean on to ensure that happens.
And we have the strength inside ourselves to succeed.

It's a big scary world out there, gentle ones, and I am thankful I get to share my trials and tribulations - joy and sadness - with you. I hope that this tome is something for which you are thankful, as well. Knowing there is someone out there in the same place as you - with the same fears - for me, this is a big deal. Maybe it is for you, too.

So enjoy the time with your loved ones.

Next week, we'll return to our regularly scheduled musings ....

Want To Be In The Papers?

Gentle readers, your MatchGirl received this email last night and though she would pass it on to you.

My name is C [name redacted]. I am a student at Columbia University's Journalism School and I am also working with the Brooklyn Ink this semester. I am currently working on a story about unemployment in Brooklyn and I came across your "Unemployed Brooklyn" website. 

I was wondering, do you currently know anyone (personally or otherwise) who fits into the following categories (note: they need to fit all criteria):  

• Lives in Brooklyn (it doesn't matter where) 

• Is middle class

• Has been unemployed for 2 years or less

• Has a family 

• Is college educated. (i.e. at least some college experience)

What do you say? Can you lend a hand to our intrepid reporter? Message me if you are able and I'll pass you along to C.


Your MatchGirl has been lucky to have received a lot of attention through this little blog. And it certainly helped me to find my voice and tell my story. Now ... I pass that opportunity on to you. Find your voice, Tell your story, and help out our friendly reporter at The Brooklyn Ink.

Storytelling

Gentle readers, when your MatchGirl was unemployed and looking for a new job. Looking to turn her life into a new direction, she had to learn to tell her own story.

And when you are building your personal brand, you need to figure out the best way to tell you story.

Your MatchGirl lectures you here all the time about the best way for you to tell your story. She talks about the two-minute job interview. She talks about how you can sell yourself with a soundbite. And she shares the stories that others are telling - to inspire you to action.

If you're looking for a new job, if you're a freelancer - you need to be able to tell your story and tell it well. You need to practice sharing it. You need to be able to let others know the key points about you.

People are short on time. They are short on attention. So you need to hold on to it.

And, hey ... everyone likes a good story.

Have The Courage To Follow Your Heart

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs


image from apple.com

A Country Built On Rights

On the subway the other morning, your MatchGirl saw a sign for the Ken Burns documentary, Prohibition. And the words on it struck me, gentle readers, so much, that I thought they bore sharing here with you.

The poster posed this question (to paraphrase): In a country built on rights how could everything have gone so wrong?

Oh my.

I feel like this is the question that the people who are occupying Wall Street (and Boston, LA, Chicago, etc...) are asking. I feel like this is a question that we all need to be asking ourselves. Right now.

The unemployment rate is high.
The income gap is seemingly un-bridgeable.
The world is not becoming a better place.

I certainly don't have it any better than my parents did - in fact, when I look around, at my career, at my life - I have it a lot worse than they did when they were my age.

And things are not getting better.

There is no one who will help. Maybe there is no one who can help.

So, dear readers, I ask you this, what are you going to do for yourself? What are you going to do to make your life better - to make the lives of those around you better and richer and brighter?

Give yourself a helping hand and pull up a few friends along the way.

Your MatchGirl is pretty sure it's the only way we can make the world a better place.

On Being Poor

Gentle readers, your MatchGirl is so very tired. She is tired of being poor.

Though I am employed, I feel like my income level has been slowly moving backward (Don't take this the wrong way. Your MatchGirl knows there are loads of people worse off than she.), since I was laid off (due to downsizing and company shutdown) in the Autumn of 2008. It's hard to make a buck in New York City ... well, more importantly, it's hard to save a buck in New York City.

And while the millenials may be more focused on moving up and forward than on planning for what happens, later, as this post on Brazen Careerist recommends, your MatchGirl has been out of her twenties for a long while now. And, though I didn't think about saving money then, I also didn't really think about my long term career goals. In my twenties, I thought about how to pay the rent and how to get groceries and how to have enough left over to have a meal out here and there and to buy some new, yet inexpensive, clothes from time to time. I didn't think about tomorrow.

But tomorrow is here.

Now I am doing something that I enjoy. That is so "me." That I am planning a long term career around. But I still find myself struggling financially. So what's a girl to do?

Your MatchGirl, dear readers, is looking for something more. Something extra. And, as she enjoys writing for you here on this blog, on A Precious Environment, and on her work blogs, she is looking to take on some freelance writing (ghost, copy or other) as a way to supplement her day job.

It's hard to admit that you're not quite where you want to be, where you're working towards, especially this late in life. I am fully self-aware, gentle ones, and I am, as long time readers know, not afraid to reach out and ask for what I need or to tell you what I am looking for. I love my day job. But right now, especially with Boyfriend out of work, I need to supplement that.

Let me know if you know of anything...

A Polite Society

Last week, gentle readers your MatchGirl wrote a post entitled Simple Manners, which received a couple of comments on the blog and several more on Twitter and in my inbox.

One of them came from Rich P, who posed the question, "Which part struck the louder chord for you, the stepping onto the shoe or the opportunity taken of the man who retrieved it?"and followed up by saying, "I often find what I'm noticing says more to me about "me" than the players involved in the scene."

And while I answered him in the comments section, I thought I would take a moment to further address what Rich has to say. Your MatchGirl, dear readers, is far from perfect. And though I am the biggest advocate of a polite society (though not the one advocated on this blog!), I am sure there are times when I am not in the right, though I hope they are few and far between.

And in thinking more on the topic and in discussing it further, with Boyfriend and another friend, I have come to realize that one of the integral parts of manners and being polite, in general, is grace.

Or, specifically, graciousness.

To be kind. To be courteous. To be compassionate. These are all a part of having good manners. They are, in fact, what keeps a polite society moving forward.

When someone is rude to you or bumps into you, it's not only on them to apologize. It's on you to accept. To say, "No worries" or "That's OK" and to move along. It's on you to let the bad feelings go and forgive their misstep. All they can do, especially in passing (on the street, on the subway, in the elevator), is say they are sorry or excuse me. If you're an ass about it - then the bad manners are on you.

Just a thought.

As I have written here before, be good to each other. It's all that matters in the end.

Change Your Attitude

“If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson


Here, gentle readers, is a prompt from the (extended) Trust30 challenge that your MatchGirl can get down with.

It is so very easy to let a bad attitude sully your day. Your week. Your month. Your year. Your life. Seriously. Your MatchGirl, herself, has fallen prey to a poor woe-is-me attitude from time to time.

Let's not let that happen to us, dear ones. Let's pledge to help each other out, when we get down in the dumps. To remind ourselves off all the awesome we have to offer.

Your MatchGirl has a lot of things she'd like to do. She has a lot of things she'd like to be. She has a lot of life to live and she's excited to share it with you.

Stick around.

Life's Too Short To Live Any Other Way

"when i like someone, i let them know it. life's too short to live any other way."


Gentle readers, your MatchGirl has this quote marked as a favorite on her Facebook wall... and though I can remember exactly the provenance of all the other quotes on there, this one somehow escapes me. I'm going to guess it grabbed me while watching a TV show or a movie. And, though I 'd love to give credit for it, it doesn't really matter.

The point is still the same.

It's about going for what you want. Going after what excites you. Asking for what will make you happy.

Whether it's a new job, a promotion or a relationship ... dear ones, please take your MatchGirl's advice, as she has lived and loved and lost and learned, all so you can bypass her mistakes and missteps ... Put yourself out there. Let the object of your affection know that you want them.

It works in your professional life as well as your personal. So take a deep breath and go for it!

Let me know how it goes!

Evolution of Self

Yesterday, gentle readers, your MatchGirl received the good news that her baby sister (nearly 8 years her junior) is engaged to be married. Such exciting news. Such good stuff!

A few years ago, this news would have sent me into a downward spiral. Not because I would not have been just as excited for my sister and her beau then, I certainly would have. They've been together for a long time and they are really good together. He treats her so well and they are very much in love. My reaction - my mixed emotions - would have had nothing to do with sis and her hunny. They would have been purely about me. They would have been purely selfish.

Because a few years ago, your MatchGirl, dear ones, did not feel so great about herself. Long time readers of this little space know that well. You've seen the evolution. Before you go jumping to conclusions that the reason I feel OK about it now is because of Boyfriend (the not so single part of my tagline), it's not. Don't get me wrong. Boyfriend is an amazing man and I am lucky and happy to have him as my partner. But he's just one part of the puzzle...

A few years ago, I felt terrible about myself. About my life. I felt like I could never move forward (and sometimes I let that dark part of my mind surface now, but I don't let it win), and, in fact, that I might be moving backward. I didn't like what I was doing for work. I didn't like what I saw as my options. I felt like I had done something wrong which led to prior relationships failing, though in my head I knew that sometimes relationships just end and it's no one's fault. I felt that I was not where I was "supposed" to be in my life. I felt lost.

I was in the dark.

But I started looking at myself in a different light. I started seeing the things that I worked on as a hobby as things to be proud of. Of things that were worthwhile. And this is where the pivot happened. This is where I woke up. This is where the light came.

And this is how your MatchGirl, gentle readers, started to take her first steps forward and out of the dark, sad place.

It's hard, when you're in a rough place, to see the positive things about yourself. It's hard to see that what you do, even if it's something you look at as a silly hobby, is important. Or that some people, who are the people who will bring you down, look down their noses at, is actually a big deal. I don't know if you'll be able to monetize your passion projects, though I hope we all one day will, but I know that they matter. And I know that you matter.

Don't let yourselves sink down those dark holes, dear ones. Your MatchGirl has been there and she's come out the other side to tell you that it's not a path you need to follow. Feel good about yourself and about the journey you're on. When you do that, you'll find yourself feeling happy for other people as they succeed in their journeys, too.

No matter what, keep putting one foot in front of the other.
You'll find your way.

Overcoming

Ah, gentle readers, your MatchGirl knows that many of you are overwhelmed. You work hard at a job where you get little to no recognition (or compensation). You apply for jobs and hear nothing back. You work and work and work as hard as you can - for your day job or for your pet projects - yet you still can't seem to get ahead.

There are not enough hours in the day.

There are not enough minutes in the hours.

There are too many things going on Saturday evening.

There is not enough money in the bank.

There is not enough time for a second job cos your first one knocks you out and no one is hiring anyway.

What a lot of obstacles there are! Here is my challenge to you, dear readers, take a deep breath and step back. And jump these hurdles, one by one. Jump them with me! Let's make a pact to work together to knock down all the wall that are holding us back from happiness. Let's make a promise to put ourselves first - to make ourselves number one. When we make ourselves a priority, we let others see that we know our worth. We let others see that we know our value. And we let others see that they must value us as well.

Your MatchGirl, gentle ones, is well aware of how very scary it is out there. She's been wading through it for a while now.

But she knows that, together, we can make it to the other side.

The Emotion Itself

"The important thing is not the object of love, but the emotion itself." --Gore Vidal


How true this is, gentle readers. When we set out to do something we need to feel the passion for our task, otherwise how can we fully commit?


What we are tasked with, at least in your MatchGirl's opinion, does not matter as much as how we feel about the work we have to do. It doesn't matter if you're a writer or a painter, a musician or a tax attorney, a chef or a social media geek (like me), What matters is that you need to find what where your passion lies - what makes you feel enthralled and excited and a little bit in love - and then go.


Feel it. Do it.

Secret Path to the Stars

Lately, gentle readers, several people have asked your MatchGirl how she went from being unemployed to heading up social media for a digital media company in Manhattan. People are asking me what was my secret.

Here it is.

I did the work.

I put myself out there.

I blogged.
I Tweeted.
I made Facebook groups.
I managed communities in real life and online.

I wrote and wrote and wrote. I put it all out there.

I imagined what I wanted to do and I looked for it.

Long time readers will know that it's not what I originally envisioned for myself.

But over the year and a half of unemployment, of getting out there and meeting people and connecting people and founding Work It Brooklyn (with two awesome gals) and constantly creating contents for blogs, something changed (as so often happens in life). I came to the realization that, though I love sewing and crafting and baking, what makes me feel the best - the most accomplished, is helping people connect. So a career that revolves around using social media platforms to make that happen - and educating people about the nest ways to do it for themselves - is amazing.

Advice, dear readers, think about what makes you happy. And write your resume to that. You'll find your calling. Or, maybe...  your calling will find you.

Ask. And Receive.

I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think of all the things that are not working in your life. That job you don’t like, that relationship that’s not working, those friends that annoy you. Now turn them all on you. Imagine that everything that’s not working in your life, is your fault. How would you approach it? What would you work on to change your life to the state that you want it to be?

The official final prompt of the Ralph Waldo Emerson Trust 30 challenge comes from Carlos Miceli. Though, if you are so inclined, Amber Rae is continuing the challenge and the site stays up! And what a way to finish the month.

Gentle readers, this is something we all must do, from time to time. This is what this challenge has prompted us to do. We all must take some time and think not about the things that we complain about and how bad we have it, but we must think about the things we're not happy about in our own lives and we must change them.

Unhappy with your job? You have options. Your MatchGirl, speaking from experience, assures you of that. Room for advancement but your not the one advancing? Speak to your supervisor or your mentor or a sympathetic person on the HR team. But don't just question why you're not advancing - tell them why you should be. If you've really worked your ass off, if you've truly contributed, you will have a list of the reasons that you're prime for a promotion. Sing your own praises (without being an asshole) and see how far it may take you. Or not. If your company is going nowhere - or if you are going nowhere in your company - look for something new. The economy, your MatchGirl knows, is tough, and a new job is hard to find. But make your own happiness a priority and look for something new!

Your relationship is not what you want it to be? Where you want it to be? Ask for what you want. This is something of which your MatchGirl can speak quite authoritatively. Dear readers, I have been in that place. I have been seeing someone where I wanted it so badly to be exclusive. Where (and this was a long time ago and in a smaller city) if I saw him out with someone else, I felt physically ill. So I asked for what I wanted. I told him what I needed. I was brave and...  I got what I wanted and it was (though with ups and downs) mostly beautiful for four years. I have also been in the place where I was not feeling good about myself, where my self-esteem was very low and I was afraid to ask. This, gentle ones, has never worked out for the best.

And with Boyfriend? With Boyfriend, I told him what I needed. I told him what I was looking for. I told him on, maybe, our third or fourth date, that I wasn't looking to screw around and that if he was one of those tattooed-bearded-Williamsburg-guys who think there is always a hotter (younger) piece of ass around the corner, we could still be friends, but I couldn't keep dating him. Period. I told him that I was looking for more, I was looking for serious. I was looking for a man who was open to possibilities of the future - not guaranteeing them, mind you, but open to them. And you can see for yourselves how that turned out.

I am slowly, but surely, moving my life into place. I am slowly, but surely, paying attention to the little things - the every day things - that make me happy. And I am making them priorities in my life - as I plan my next steps. As I ready myself to make my next move.

But being brave, gentle readers, that will get you a lot. Look at your MatchGirl. In 2008/2009 and into the beginning of 2010 she was unemployed and single, blogging and dating and putting herself out there. And now? It's 2011 and she is living with Boyfriend. And she was just named the Head of Social Media at the digital media company where she has been employed for the last (almost) year and a half.

How did I make this difference? How did I make this change?

I stood up.

And I asked.

Today Tomorrow Sometime Never

Speak what you think now in hard words, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Imagine your future self, ie, you 10 years from now. If he/she were to send you a tweet or text message, 1) what would it say and 2) how would that transform your life or change something you’re doing, thinking, believing or saying today?

Ah, Tia Singh's prompt is another where you speak to your future self and you speak to your past self. In this case your future self speaks to its past self which is your present self...  Got it?

Gentle readers, as silly as these types of "what if...?" prompts may be, they are not without validity. They are not without reason. Because if you were to sit and think - think hard - on what you want your future to look like you'd probably scare the bejeezus out of yourself. You'r MatchGirl, when she thinks of the future to come - of being settled with Boyfriend, of a kid or two, of a lot more writing and organizing and a little less nine-to-five - sometimes, as much as I want it, it seems a little ... daunting. Terrifying, really.

And it's not scary because I'm unsure I want those things. It's just scary because big change is always a little scary. Sometimes it's downright frightening. And thinking about the change the future will inevitably bring? Man...

So. To answer the question. The message from my 45 year old self will read:

Push. Focus. Do the work.

It just keeps getting better.

*bonus points if you know where the post title comes from...