Pick A Job | Advice from Mad Men

This is America. Pick a job and then become the person that does it.  - Bobbie Barrett, Mad Men "The New Girl"

Last week, gentle readers, your MatchGirl wrote about whether it was possible for one to truly reinvent themselves in the digital age. With our more connected world comes greater visibility. And less of a chance to hide who you might have been.

In thinking about it more, though, I wonder if we can use social tools to - not to hide from who we were - but to be open about our transformations. 

It's something I've certainly done, from the beginning of my time writing Unemployed Brooklyn through the fun ride of Hire Me Martha to me finally landing in a place that I truly love - thinking about, playing on, moving forward with and working in the field of social media. 

On some level, this quote still rings true. America is still the land of opportunity, the place where you can decide what or who you want to be and then work your ass off to do it. Sure, it matters, still who you know and who you meet. But you can know those people. You can met them. And social tools make it even easier.

So, did I follow the advice of Bobbie Barrett, Don Draper's ambitious lover in season 2 of Mad Men? Yes. I did. And then I went further.

I've been nothing but transparent about my career change. I've been nothing but honest about who I am and where I come from. I'm happy to tell would-be-employers that I don't come from a traditional PR or marketing background. I didn't study it in school. I learned it in the real world. In a country where Americans have, on average, 7 jobs in their lifetime, isn't it better to keep learning and growing as you work? To keep acquiring new skills? To keep making your personal brand stronger and more marketable? 

If I'd learned these skills in school, I wouldn't have been taught about social media. It didn't exist. And it's possible I would find myself in a much worse unemployment position than I do right now. Because it's very possible that if I had been taught PR or marketing at university I would not have figured out the social tools that are so very necessary in today's world. 

I wouldn't have fallen in love with social media because I wouldn't have found it on my own. I wouldn't have been in a position to take chances and express myself. I might not have thought to start this blog.

Or maybe I would have figured it out.

It's no good looking at what might have been, anyway. But, gentle readers, it is important to focus at the task at hand.

So, take Mrs. Barrett's advice: Pick a job and then become the person who does it.

Collaboration

Gentle readers, as many of you know, at the beginning of this year, your MatchGirl joined the street team of Seth Godin's Domino Project. I believe I reflected on it for the first time in February of this year. And I got my first big jolt of inspiration after devouring Godin's Poke the Box- and wrote about it here.

The thing is, dear ones, your MatchGirl continues to be inspired and motivated by this project, even though it has officially come to an end.

What is it that's kept me so motivated?
It's keeping in touch with the other members of the street team, scattered throughout the world.
It's watching them take deep breaths and do the scary things they weren't sure they could do.
It's being part of the community.
And it's keeping the collaboration going.

Your MatchGirl is a big fan of collaboration.
Of coming together.
It's part of why she was so excited to help in the founding of Work It Brooklyn. And why she continues to encourage all of you to come together.

Through working together, we can make good ideas great.
We can make small accomplishments big achievements.
We can turn the germ of an idea into something that will change the world.

No one can do it alone, though.
I promise you that, gentle ones.
No matter who you are. No matter how big your personality. No matter how much money you have. No matter who your parents are.
Anything you do solo in this world can only be made better by coming together with other smart people. Whether they code or write or market or keep your ego in check. If they give you answers and keep your ego in line (no matter your talent) they're worth your time.

What's the best collaborative project you've worked on? What inspires you to keep connecting and collaborating? I'd love for you to share your stories with me.

And Then It Hit Me!

That's how inspiration is supposed to come, isn't it, gentle readers?
A bolt from the blue!
And voila! You're inspired.

Not so fast.
It's not like that. Not at all.

Sure, sometimes you'll get an amazing idea as you're drifting off to sleep at night... or in the shower in the morning... But how many of you drop what you're doing and take the time to jot that idea down? Better yet, dear ones, how many of you then go back to that scribbled note or hurriedly typed memo and do something about it?

Ah. That's what I thought.
Your MatchGirl is wise to you, you know...

For my Friday post, I remind you that after you have the great idea - that jolt of inspiration - you need to do the work to make something happen. And so do I.

So, let's get to it, dear readers.
Get a move on.
Take that notebook full of great ideas an make something happen!

Generation Gap

By now, gentle readers, you've seen this post: Generation X Doesn't Want to Hear It (if you haven't, click that link and go a check it out. I'll wait). And you've read the comments. And the commentary. And you've formed your opinions on Mat Honan. Maybe you read it as a rant on Occupy Wall Street (personally, your MatchGirl sees how people did, but didn't think about it herself - probably since everyone she knows who is occupying anywhere is well over thirty). Maybe you read something different, something more...

I did.

Your MatchGirl, herself, is very sick of the GenY people who only speak of being GenY. As though that's their accomplishment. That they were born to a certain time. Companies need to bend to them. The world needs to change for them. They can throw a tantrum and get what they want. It's always worked that way, right?

Screw that.

I've got no problem with Millenials (GenY, whatever). A lot of you, dear readers, fit that demographic. Many of my closest friends do, as well. As do some of my talented colleagues and loads of people who I admire and respect.

But here's the difference, those people are out there. They are living their lives to the fullest. They are doing something for others. They are writing code and creating art and making music and changing the world, one step at a time. They are not sitting in their 9-to-5's complaining about how the world is not bending to their needs. They are not sitting there saying that because they are Millenial that everyone should work around them and their needs. They, in fact, don't go around singing that they are GenY from the rooftops.

They are out there.
They are doing.
They are just them.
And who they are is pretty cool.

But that's my complaint about the GenY that we see in the every day. In the media. In the comments of Mat's post.

To those members of GenY, I say: Stop whining. Start doing.

Generation X, of which your MatchGirl is a born in the 1970s, card-carrying member of, doesn't want to hear it. It's true. No one listened to our whining. No one gave us trophies or prizes or a decent living. We make less than our parents did. It's possible, if something doesn't change soon, that our children will be worse off than we are. Our idols are dead. Our high school fashions were terrible. We got a hot five minutes of fame from a book by Douglas Coupland. And then GenY got a little older and, for the most part, Generation X was forgotten.

Your MatchGirl is proud of who she is and where she's from. She's glad of things that she was able to experience, simply by the fact of when she was born. But it's not all that makes me me.

And if you are a member of GenY, it shouldn't be what you're identity is wrapped up in, either. Be you. Shine. Do good. Live well.

As to the rest?
Hell, man, age ain't nothing but a number.

Overcoming

Ah, gentle readers, your MatchGirl knows that many of you are overwhelmed. You work hard at a job where you get little to no recognition (or compensation). You apply for jobs and hear nothing back. You work and work and work as hard as you can - for your day job or for your pet projects - yet you still can't seem to get ahead.

There are not enough hours in the day.

There are not enough minutes in the hours.

There are too many things going on Saturday evening.

There is not enough money in the bank.

There is not enough time for a second job cos your first one knocks you out and no one is hiring anyway.

What a lot of obstacles there are! Here is my challenge to you, dear readers, take a deep breath and step back. And jump these hurdles, one by one. Jump them with me! Let's make a pact to work together to knock down all the wall that are holding us back from happiness. Let's make a promise to put ourselves first - to make ourselves number one. When we make ourselves a priority, we let others see that we know our worth. We let others see that we know our value. And we let others see that they must value us as well.

Your MatchGirl, gentle ones, is well aware of how very scary it is out there. She's been wading through it for a while now.

But she knows that, together, we can make it to the other side.

The Emotion Itself

"The important thing is not the object of love, but the emotion itself." --Gore Vidal


How true this is, gentle readers. When we set out to do something we need to feel the passion for our task, otherwise how can we fully commit?


What we are tasked with, at least in your MatchGirl's opinion, does not matter as much as how we feel about the work we have to do. It doesn't matter if you're a writer or a painter, a musician or a tax attorney, a chef or a social media geek (like me), What matters is that you need to find what where your passion lies - what makes you feel enthralled and excited and a little bit in love - and then go.


Feel it. Do it.

Love In The Time of Recession

Yesterday, gentle readers, your MatchGirl wondered if doing what you love for a living is playing with fire. Of course, it is every person's dream to wake up every single morning and get to do something they like, no - LOVE, all day long, every day.

The thing about doing what you love, though, for work, is that it is still work.

If you love crafting and you start a little Etsy shop that takes off, that's awesome. But you need to do the work. You need to produce. Every day.

If you love writing and you figure out how to sustain yourself so you can write every single day, you need to write every single day.

If you're in a band you go one tour, you record and mix your album, you put videos on YouTube and music sites. You practice, you write songs. You play. Every day.

The reality is that work is work is work. If you're passionate about what you're doing, that's awesome. If you love and enjoy what you are doing, that is amazing. You're one of the lucky ones. But you still need to put yourself out there. You need to work and you need to work hard. You'll just like it more than if you're working on something you don't feel passionate about. Than if you're living the life of a nine to five drone.

So. What do do if you're unemployed? What to do if you're underemployed? What to do if you are afraid to reach for the stars and follow your dreams in this scary economy?

Fuck it.

Screw your fears, gentle readers. Reach for what you want - reach for what you need to make you happy. It's terrifying, of course, but go for it. Go. Go. GO!

Hush

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Write down a major life goal you have yet to achieve or even begin to take action on. For each goal, write down three uncertainties (read: fears) you have relating to each goal. Break it down further, and write down three reasons for each uncertainty. When you have three reasons for your fear, you’ll be able to start processing the change because you know where the fear stems from. Now you’ll be able to make a smaller changes that push you towards your larger goal. So begins the process of “trusting yourself.” - Sean Ogle

Ahhh. This one's a good one.

And your MatchGirl has an answer.  She's just, gentle readers, not quite ready to go public with them...

Surprise Yourself

I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think of a time when you didn’t think you were capable of doing something, but then surprised yourself.  How will you surprise yourself this week?

I like this little prompt from Ashley Ambirge. I like it because while she is certainly a gal who faced fear (out of necessity, but maybe that's what we all need sometimes...  your MatchGirl can relate to that!) this prompt is not about fear. This prompt is about surprise.

I do things every day that are so very boring. So very rote. But sometimes, some days, gentle readers, your MatchGirl surprises herself. She steps up. She faces up. She's working on some projects right now and, if I can pull it off, that will certainly surprise me. 

I'll keep you posted.

One Week To Live

Gentle readers, I must admit Sunday's Ralph Waldo Emerson Self-Reliance challenge prompt left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. "What if you only had one week to live? What would you do?" Maybe it is because I have been asked similar questions over the years - particularly when I was first laid off and the journey that I'm on now began.

Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live. – Ralph Waldo Emerson


If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? In what areas of your life are you preparing to live? Take them off your To Do list and add them to a To Stop list. Resolve to only do what makes you come alive.


Bonus: How can your goals improve the present and not keep you in a perpetual “always something better” spiral?


prompted by Jonathan Mead

But that the thing. Right now, I'm moving towards all the things that I want to do.

My job situation is getting harder, but better, and I see great possibilities.

I'm living with Boyfriend and we are planning a future together. We're arguing about the names of our unborn, un-conceived children and bickering about whether Li'l Wayne is appropriate wedding music (no, we're not engaged, you didn't miss anything). We're building towards that future.

I'm building community online and off.

I'm enjoying time with the people I love and adore.

I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm living.

If I had one week to live, I'd quit my job and travel somewhere ridiculously exciting and romantic, because, cost be damned, my friends, I wouldn't have to worry about expense.

But that's not the way the world works, dear readers. So, living within reality, I'm doing all that I can to push forward and make my dreams come true, and as those who have been long-time readers of this blog know, I'm making pretty good headway.

One Strong Belief

Your MatchGirl spent all day today, gentle readers, pondering the prompt put forward by Buster Benson on the Ralph Waldo Emerson Self Reliance Challenge:

It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. 

- Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

The world is powered by passionate people, powerful ideas, and fearless action. What’s one strong belief you possess that isn’t shared by your closest friends or family? What inspires this belief, and what have you done to actively live it?

It's an interesting question.

It's a challenging question.

It's a question that I cannot truthfully answer.

I love the quote from Self-Reliance that has prompted this thoughtful challenge. I have always been comfortable in my own solitude, in being my own self. And in doing my best, with lapses in my teenaged years, to stay true to that self. It's how my parents raised me. It's how my grandparents, on both sides, raised them.

As I've move through my adulthood, and especially as I now linger in my mid-thirties, I find that I share more commonalities with the people I surround myself with than there are differences amongst us. And I don't mean this answer as a cop out. I challenged myself all day, from the morning when the prompt arrived to the late evening when I sat down to type this reply, to come up with an answer that was true. That meant something. That would be fitting of this question.

I cannot, though, dear readers, come up with something that I know, that I believe, that I believe that any person in my inner circle does not believe. Nothing that's of importance anyway.

I believe in love.

I believe in friendship.

I believe in the power of community.

I believe we are amazing alone and we can be even greater together.

These are the beliefs that I live by every day. These are the beliefs I share with you, gentle readers, as I attempt to answer this question. It might not be the answer that was asked for.

But I certainly believe it's the right answer.

Fifteen Minutes To Live

We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Challenge:
You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live.
1. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.
2. Write the story that has to be written.

My life changed when I was laid off, in November of 2008. This is a fact.

Until that time I had been totally - for lack of a better word - comfortable with my life. That year, itself was miserable. A lot of bad things happened that, in the long run, don't really matter as stories, just as the pieces that fell down and put me into the position to be who I am today. And to see that being someone is to keep striving to be better at being you.

On that day in early November, my boss called me into his office and told me that I was doing a great job. But the company was hemoraging money and, as one of only two salaried people, I would be working my last day that day. I was amazed. I had worked my ass off at that job. I had worked long hours. I had put sweat and tears (and probably a little) blood into that job - working longer hours than even the start-up owners themselves. And suddenly I was being asked ot pack my desk and being escorted out the front door.

I was devastated.
I moped.
I slept too much.
I drank too much.
I looked on Craigslists for jobs that were well below my intelligence and skill.
I was, to say the least, depressed.

And then one morning, I woke up.
And I started writing.
I started this little blog to share my feelings with the world.

And I found out there were more people like me. People who were smart and loyal and beautiful and cared about each other and their communities - online and local. And I started to make a whole new world of friends.

That's the important part of the story. It's about the community that you find when you put yourself out there - truly put yourself out there and let yourself see the world in a different way. It's about the people you meet who you admire and you want to be friends with - who you find inspiring and whom you hope you can inspire.

The most important thing I  have learned, over the past few years, is that if you just put yourself out there - heart wide open - open to pain and to joy and to all the amazements that the world has to offer, even if they terrify you, that is the way to your truest self.

Through sharing my hopes and fears and pains on this blog, I realized that there was a tribe of people out there - some near, some far - who felt those things, too. I met people who were terrified of starting over after being laid off. I met girls who felt like they would be single forever. I met people in my own neighborhood who love it as much as I do and who thought there must be a way to introduce those people to one another - to foster community and relationships. And the best part of all of that is I am still doing it. And I'm helping other people do it. And I'm trying to work with people who are more tech-savvy than I to make it happen more and better and bigger.

The thing I know is that by being your true self - not apologizing, for either your strengths or your weaknesses, you gain so much. You meet the most amazing people. You find your tribe. You learn things you might never have known. You are offered experiences that, were you hiding behind a facade of what you think you're supposed to be, you never would have been privy to. It is a terrifying way to live, at times, with your heart on your sleeve. But, for me, there has never really been any other way.

The best thing that ever happened to me was getting laid off in November 2008, at the height of the recession. It put me on a path that I never would have gone down otherwise. And I can't imagine living any other way.

Go Go Go

Sunday night, I saw something amazing happen. I watched someone I know win an Academy Award. I watched him accept his award in his usual, easy and funny way. I watched him tell his girlfriend she was his dream come true. I watched him become a trending topic on Twitter. I watched our mutual friends fill up his wall on Facebook and tease each other about who was and who wasn't an extra in the film (your MatchGirl, gentle readers, *was* an extra). I whooped out loud when they called his name. I can't explain the feeling of excitement when you watch someone's dream come true. When it's someone who you know.

It's magical.

But here's the thing, dear ones, it's not magic. It's work. It's a lot of hard hard work.

And it's inspirational. To see someone, a regular person, someone you were just singing karaoke with a couple of months ago, reach this. This epitome of success.

I think I feel more emotional and excited about it because I have been spending a lot of time thinking about going and doing and innovation. I have been spending a lot of time thinking about ideas and how to spread them. I have been spending a lot of time thinking about how to not only think outside the box, but to build a whole new box. And I feel inspired.

Yesterday I mentioned that I have been working on a lot of new projects and I linked to them in a post. But here's the one that I didn't talk about. Here's the one, gentle readers, that has your MatchGirl filled with ideas and inspiration and excitement.

The Domino Project is the latest project from Seth Godin, with a simple goal: "get books to readers who want them. We identify great authors, establish smart partnerships, and use digital tools to give readers ideas they can spread." And I was accepted as part of the street team for this new venture.

The biggest perk so far (aside from meeting, IRL and online some really amazing people), has been that I received an early edition of Godin's new book "Poke The Box". It's a slim missive, no chapters no footnotes, no Table of Contents. It is, however, chock full of inspiration. Of ideas. Of reminders that the the people who wait to be picked are never the rule-breakers, the deal-makers, the innovators. The people who are afraid to fail - afraid to fuck up - are the ones who can never succeed.

Dear readers, your MatchGirl knows that some of you are still unemployed. She knows that many of you are under-employed. She knows that a lot of you are spending time trying to figure out what the hell you want to do. She knows that some of you are working in jobs that are not quite right and trying to fit into them. She knows that many of you are working in jobs that are not quite right and trying to make them fit to you. And your MatchGirl, gentle ones, wants you to to buy this book. Or borrow this book. But most of all, your MatchGirl wants you to read this book.

I read it over a couple of days on my commute to and from work. And as I read it, I smiled. I felt excited. I felt inspired. I felt like going into the office and kicking ass and figuring out what I could do that was different, that was unexpected, that was outside of my "job description." I felt like going home and getting online and telling you all about what I was reading. I felt like organizing events and pushing boundaries and trying to make not only my life better, but your life as well. I felt like launching my new projects and pushing them forward as hard as I can.

There are a lot of great quotes in there.

There are things I need to go through and pull out and share with you.

But for now, while I'm still full of excitement and inspiration; while I'm ready to work my ass off; while I am ready to begin, I share with you this:

This is a manifesto about starting
Starting a project, making a ruckus, taking what feels like a risk.

Not just "I'm starting to think about it," or "We're going to meet on this," or even "I filed a patent application..."

No, starting.

Going beyond the point of no return.

Leaping.

Committing.

Making something happen.

There are so many other inspirations your MatchGirl wants to share. There is so much I know we all can do. If you read the book, and I hope you will, let me know what you think. If you read the book and you have questions about the project, let me know. If you read the book and you think it's drivel, let me know. I'm really excited to hear what you guys have to say about it.

Finally, dear ones, I leave you with this: Have you fully understood the cost of not starting?

Go.

Go.

Go.