Motivate

Gentle readers, when your MatchGirl was unemployed, she made a schedule for herself. She didn't sleep all day (unless she was sick or ridiculously hungover, of course). She got up in the morning, Monday through Friday, washed her face, popped in her contacts and did a yoga workout. Five days a week.

When I go a job, I slowed it down to three days a week. I woke early and did my little routine for about thirty minutes - usually Monday, Wednesday and Friday - and then I'd finish getting ready for work and be on my way. And I felt great.

But things happen and plans change and oh my goodness isn't it so much nicer you stay curled up next to your boo on a cold winter morning than rising early and working out? Yeah. I think so, too.

But being stagnant is no good.

So after months of laziness and having no discipline at all, your MatchGirl is back on it. That's right, dear ones, I am back on the getting up early three days a week, working out before going to work track I was so faithfully on for about 8 months. And I'm feeling it, too!

But, even though it hurts right now, I know I'll be the stronger for it in the end. Life's funny like that.

Change Your Attitude

“If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson


Here, gentle readers, is a prompt from the (extended) Trust30 challenge that your MatchGirl can get down with.

It is so very easy to let a bad attitude sully your day. Your week. Your month. Your year. Your life. Seriously. Your MatchGirl, herself, has fallen prey to a poor woe-is-me attitude from time to time.

Let's not let that happen to us, dear ones. Let's pledge to help each other out, when we get down in the dumps. To remind ourselves off all the awesome we have to offer.

Your MatchGirl has a lot of things she'd like to do. She has a lot of things she'd like to be. She has a lot of life to live and she's excited to share it with you.

Stick around.

Life's Too Short To Live Any Other Way

"when i like someone, i let them know it. life's too short to live any other way."


Gentle readers, your MatchGirl has this quote marked as a favorite on her Facebook wall... and though I can remember exactly the provenance of all the other quotes on there, this one somehow escapes me. I'm going to guess it grabbed me while watching a TV show or a movie. And, though I 'd love to give credit for it, it doesn't really matter.

The point is still the same.

It's about going for what you want. Going after what excites you. Asking for what will make you happy.

Whether it's a new job, a promotion or a relationship ... dear ones, please take your MatchGirl's advice, as she has lived and loved and lost and learned, all so you can bypass her mistakes and missteps ... Put yourself out there. Let the object of your affection know that you want them.

It works in your professional life as well as your personal. So take a deep breath and go for it!

Let me know how it goes!

Evolution of Self

Yesterday, gentle readers, your MatchGirl received the good news that her baby sister (nearly 8 years her junior) is engaged to be married. Such exciting news. Such good stuff!

A few years ago, this news would have sent me into a downward spiral. Not because I would not have been just as excited for my sister and her beau then, I certainly would have. They've been together for a long time and they are really good together. He treats her so well and they are very much in love. My reaction - my mixed emotions - would have had nothing to do with sis and her hunny. They would have been purely about me. They would have been purely selfish.

Because a few years ago, your MatchGirl, dear ones, did not feel so great about herself. Long time readers of this little space know that well. You've seen the evolution. Before you go jumping to conclusions that the reason I feel OK about it now is because of Boyfriend (the not so single part of my tagline), it's not. Don't get me wrong. Boyfriend is an amazing man and I am lucky and happy to have him as my partner. But he's just one part of the puzzle...

A few years ago, I felt terrible about myself. About my life. I felt like I could never move forward (and sometimes I let that dark part of my mind surface now, but I don't let it win), and, in fact, that I might be moving backward. I didn't like what I was doing for work. I didn't like what I saw as my options. I felt like I had done something wrong which led to prior relationships failing, though in my head I knew that sometimes relationships just end and it's no one's fault. I felt that I was not where I was "supposed" to be in my life. I felt lost.

I was in the dark.

But I started looking at myself in a different light. I started seeing the things that I worked on as a hobby as things to be proud of. Of things that were worthwhile. And this is where the pivot happened. This is where I woke up. This is where the light came.

And this is how your MatchGirl, gentle readers, started to take her first steps forward and out of the dark, sad place.

It's hard, when you're in a rough place, to see the positive things about yourself. It's hard to see that what you do, even if it's something you look at as a silly hobby, is important. Or that some people, who are the people who will bring you down, look down their noses at, is actually a big deal. I don't know if you'll be able to monetize your passion projects, though I hope we all one day will, but I know that they matter. And I know that you matter.

Don't let yourselves sink down those dark holes, dear ones. Your MatchGirl has been there and she's come out the other side to tell you that it's not a path you need to follow. Feel good about yourself and about the journey you're on. When you do that, you'll find yourself feeling happy for other people as they succeed in their journeys, too.

No matter what, keep putting one foot in front of the other.
You'll find your way.

Overcoming

Ah, gentle readers, your MatchGirl knows that many of you are overwhelmed. You work hard at a job where you get little to no recognition (or compensation). You apply for jobs and hear nothing back. You work and work and work as hard as you can - for your day job or for your pet projects - yet you still can't seem to get ahead.

There are not enough hours in the day.

There are not enough minutes in the hours.

There are too many things going on Saturday evening.

There is not enough money in the bank.

There is not enough time for a second job cos your first one knocks you out and no one is hiring anyway.

What a lot of obstacles there are! Here is my challenge to you, dear readers, take a deep breath and step back. And jump these hurdles, one by one. Jump them with me! Let's make a pact to work together to knock down all the wall that are holding us back from happiness. Let's make a promise to put ourselves first - to make ourselves number one. When we make ourselves a priority, we let others see that we know our worth. We let others see that we know our value. And we let others see that they must value us as well.

Your MatchGirl, gentle ones, is well aware of how very scary it is out there. She's been wading through it for a while now.

But she knows that, together, we can make it to the other side.

The Emotion Itself

"The important thing is not the object of love, but the emotion itself." --Gore Vidal


How true this is, gentle readers. When we set out to do something we need to feel the passion for our task, otherwise how can we fully commit?


What we are tasked with, at least in your MatchGirl's opinion, does not matter as much as how we feel about the work we have to do. It doesn't matter if you're a writer or a painter, a musician or a tax attorney, a chef or a social media geek (like me), What matters is that you need to find what where your passion lies - what makes you feel enthralled and excited and a little bit in love - and then go.


Feel it. Do it.

Secret Path to the Stars

Lately, gentle readers, several people have asked your MatchGirl how she went from being unemployed to heading up social media for a digital media company in Manhattan. People are asking me what was my secret.

Here it is.

I did the work.

I put myself out there.

I blogged.
I Tweeted.
I made Facebook groups.
I managed communities in real life and online.

I wrote and wrote and wrote. I put it all out there.

I imagined what I wanted to do and I looked for it.

Long time readers will know that it's not what I originally envisioned for myself.

But over the year and a half of unemployment, of getting out there and meeting people and connecting people and founding Work It Brooklyn (with two awesome gals) and constantly creating contents for blogs, something changed (as so often happens in life). I came to the realization that, though I love sewing and crafting and baking, what makes me feel the best - the most accomplished, is helping people connect. So a career that revolves around using social media platforms to make that happen - and educating people about the nest ways to do it for themselves - is amazing.

Advice, dear readers, think about what makes you happy. And write your resume to that. You'll find your calling. Or, maybe...  your calling will find you.