The Creative Life

On the weekend, gentle readers, your MatchGirl was listening to Studio 360 on WNYC. Part of the program was about arts funding in public schools (check it out here). Or, more to the point, if a turnaround arts initiative could save schools.

Your MatchGirl only knows what this piece told her about the initiative. But she knows this. Art saves students. And that will be what saves schools.

When your MatchGirl was a kid, she went to several schools. Being the shy, bookish girl before that was a hip thing to be, it wasn't easy to make new friends. But the art room was always a place of solace.

I never would be the smartest kid in class. I would never be the prettiest and I most certainly could never have been, no matter how I longed for it, the most popular. But I could go into the art classroom and feel smart and talented and like I could do anything that I wanted to. I could be accomplished. And I could feel admired.

That was just the self-esteem part of things.

Having the opportunity to participate in arts programs also made me aware that there is seldom one right answer. It made it clear that one could use creativity to arrive at the truth. 

I was never one who did well on standardized tests, probably because of this. My world was always in shades of grey. There was always something that could be the right answer, if only I knew more of the puzzle pieces. 

The thing is, dear readers, when we get out of the classroom and into the real world, it's not so black and white as bubbles filled in with a Number 2 pencil, either. We need creative thinking to make our way in the world - in personal relationships, in the work place, too. Think where we would be without creative thinking. 

And I don't mean think where we would be without the painters and the poets and the composers. Creative thinking is what drives the greatest innovations in our world. Engineers, scientists, mathematicians ... all of these disciplines rely on people who can think outside of previously drawn lines to come to new discovery. 

And they can't land on these discoveries if they've never been taught to wrap their head around problems from a different perspective.

Your MatchGirl, for one, hopes that this initiative proves its worth. And that expands to other schools. She hopes that the school system realizes how many children "No Child Left Behind" is truly failing. 

Who knows, a little creative thinking might help ...

Image: Life

Reinvention In The Digital Age

It used to be, gentle readers, that one could go off to college and be a different person than they were in high school. It used to be that one could move to a new city or a new country and be a different person than the one they had been before.

And your MatchGirl isn't speaking about anything nefarious. It's simply that it used to be so simple to leave one's old self behind. To invent yourself from scratch. Or, at the very least, put aside your bookish nerdy self and become a cheerleader-type. Or some such thing.

But how do we do that now?
In this digital age, when everything about you is available for everyone else to see?

It's hard to escape your past, for sure, but it's not so hard to look to your future.
Your MatchGirl's advice to those looking to reinvent themselves, just do it. You don't need to forget who you were (or are) to get where you are going. But you do need to see where it is you want to be.

And honestly, from one geeky girl, who never did turn into a cheerleader-type, to someone probably not that different (if you're reading this little tome, anyway), why would you want to lose all that old stuff? It's what adds up to make you who you are today. And that person ... probably doesn't suck.

No Comparison

Gentle readers, pull up a stool and listen to what your MatchGirl has to say.
You are like no one else.

It's true. You are you and they are they and never the twain shall meet.

When we're out of work, spending a little more time on the social web than we would have had time to before... it's easy, too easy, to look at the lives of others in our social circles and compare ourselves to those. They have a great job. They have a big family. They live in an amazing city. They have things that you want and you're just not sure how to get.

Guess what. You have things they want. You're living a life that is solely your own and you can't compare yourself to anyone else.

They have things you want? Awesome! Strive to get those things for yourself.

Just because you're a little down on your luck right now doesn't mean things won't be better soon. Especially not if you keep trying to make them better.

So, log off the social networks and spend some of this unemployed "down" time on you. And who you are. And on where you want to go.

Spirit & Resolve

This is the time of year, gentle readers, when, especially when things are going great in your life, that it's hard to remember that not everyone is sharing your celebrations.

Your MatchGirl is thinking back to when she was first laid off, in November of 2008 - right after the worst birthday I have ever celebrated, right after the death of my grandfather, right before Thanksgiving. Though I spent Thanksgiving in Brooklyn with dear friends, and Christmas in New Hampshire with my family, this was a low point for your MatchGirl.

I could not go out and buy gifts for people in the way I had hoped. I was living hand-to-mouth off a paltry severance (which I know I was lucky to get), as I waited for unemployment insurance to kick in. It was a bad time.

I was single.
I felt disgusting.
I felt unloveable, undate-able and unhire-able.
The weather was damp and grey and cold.
It felt like the sun never shone.

And to make matters worse, the streets were filled with the gaiety of the holidays.
I mean, come on!
Nothing like the world rubbing it in, huh?

But here's the thing, dear readers.
It was all in my head.
I was sad and allowing myself to wallow in it.
Not being able to separate the good things in my life from the dismal feelings I had.

A year later, your MatchGirl was still unemployed. And you know what? I took advantage of it for all it was worth. Money? Who needed it? You can check out my Handmade Holiday here. What had really changed, though, was my attitude. I was certainly in no better situation than I had been the year before. In fact, after over a year unemployed, I should have been more depressed, not less.

But things change.
And you come to realize where priorities should lie. What matters to you the most (it's different for every person and I wouldn't presume to say where another's priorities should lie).

That's not to say, however, that this isn't a hard time of year for those who aren't working. Or who are working at part-time jobs. Or who are getting by - just - paycheck-to-paycheck. It's tough. It's tougher than the rest of the year, for sure.

So, this month, be generous with yourself. With your thoughts.
Take a moment to recognize how your hard work has gotten you to a great place.
Take a moment to pause and reflect on what it might have been had you not gathered your resolve and pushed forward.
And take a moment to see those around you - the unemployeds, the underemployeds, your friends and neighbors - and think how you can help them to find their resolve. To make their grey days a little brighter.
I promise it will be the best gift you can give.

My Birthday Wish

Yesterday I turned 36.

That's right, gentle readers, your MatchGirl is now officially closer to forty than thirty.
This dear ones, is a big deal.

Maybe it shouldn't be. Maybe it should mean nothing.
I mean, I look young. People mistake me for young all the time. To my advantage and to my disadvantage. And, in fact, when I mention my age and where I'm at in my life, people say things like "It's OK. You don't look in your mid-thirties."

This, gentle ones, is stupid.

Because whether your MatchGirl could pass for 26 or not, it doesn't make any difference at all.
You see, your MatchGirl is not 26. She hasn't been for a decade. And there is no going back.

Your MatchGirl isn't where she thought she'd be at this point in her life, it's true. She's on her way ... maybe ... in the right direction. She's making hard choices. She's trying to move forward as hard and fast as she possibly can. But today, she ponders being thirty-six. What that means and where she should be.

And as she does, and as she knows many of her readers are younger, she wishes you to live life to the fullest. To not wait around for someone else to offer a hand. To ask for what you need. To take a deep breath and work through all the scary stuff and jump right in to where you want to go.

The worse that could happen? You'll get rejected.
And that sucks.

But it sucks a lot harder to look back on parts of your life and wonder where they went.

My birthday wish, gentle readers, is for you to go as hard and long and strong as you can. It's for you to look fear in the face and laugh. It's that you will not be looking back and wondering which decisions you could have made differently.

Don't take a passive role in your life, dear ones. It's not OK.
And it won't get you anywhere.

My birthday wish is that you learn that at an earlier age than your MatchGirl did.

Ghosts of the Past

Your MatchGirl wrote here, not that long ago, about the ghosts from our pasts. The ones that come to haunt us when we are least expecting them. The ones whose voices stick with us, no matter what we do, as we carry on and keep on moving forward in our lives.

Last week your MatchGirl encountered one such ghost of lifetime past. One who has lingered in her mind - in the things she doubts about herself and in the things she touts about herself - for over a decade.

And here is what I learned:

While it's good to face one's demons, it's even better to face one's ghosts. Because while those inner demons are part of you, the ghosts are from the outside. It's harder to change how those voices affect you because you don't have any control over where those words came from to begin with.

Your MatchGirl, while not on exactly firm ground, life-wise, is at a good place to face those ghosts. She's at a good place with her relationships. She's got forward momentum when it comes to her career. She knows where she wants to go and she can see a path (fuzzy as it may be right now) of how to achieve it.

As for the ghost... well, gentle readers, he was the same person he's always been. And that was good to see. Because your MatchGirl, she's the same person she's always been, too. She's just a stronger, tougher, older, more confident version of it.

What do you think? As you move through your life, do you hear voices of those ghosts from your past? Do you let them hold you back? Or do you use those whispers to help propel yourself forward?

A Liberal Arts View of Technology

Your MatchGirl knows that everyone and their mother has been posting about Steve Jobs the past couple of days. And your MatchGirl, given yesterday's post, is no different.

Some posts have been received in controversy. Some have brought tears to people's eyes.. And no matter what you think of Steve Jobs the man, I don't think, gentle readers, that anyone can deny that his point of view changed the way that millions of people approach - and are able to approach - technology. And through that, the world.

A little story for you, dear readers: My grandfather owned a store in the White Mountains of New Hampshire - it was one of those stores where you could buy your groceries, your snow shovel and a new toy for your kid. It was three stories and served people from the many small towns in the area. And I remember walking into the office one day and there was a computer running the show. It was a Macintosh SE. And, while it didn't last long at the store (I can't recall what followed it), it came home with my family and I wrote term papers, mediocre short stories and my college applications on it over the next five years. I learned to play around on MacPaint and MacDraw and, later, on faster computers (with actual internal hard drives) got pretty good with Quark, too. I wrote my first emails on a Macintosh LC.

That's not really the point of this essay, though. So many of you have had a similar experience. So many of you have a first time-Mac story that is part of your personal history.

The point of that little story about the SE - that's more about my Grampa. He heard that the Mac was the best and he wanted the best. I can't recall why he gave it to us, and he's not around any longer to ask. But I do know that in 1998, when that Bondi Blue iMac came out, my Grampa, aged 78, drove two hours to the closest store selling them and took one home.

Listening to Fresh Air on NPR on Thursday night, they replayed part of a 1996 interview with Steve Jobs, where he said, to paraphrase, that he wanted to bring "a liberal arts point of view to the use of computers." He didn't want people to feel confused when setting them up or using them. He wanted them to be intuitive and part of the whole. A liberal arts education is focused on bringing all the parts of academia together to make a whole, a better, person, and, to me, it seems that's what Steve Jobs wished for Apple to bring to computing.

"In my perspective ... science and computer science is a liberal art, it's something everyone should know how to use, at least, and harness in their life. It's not something that should be relegated to 5 percent of the population over in the corner. It's something that everybody should be exposed to and everyone should have mastery of to some extent, and that's how we viewed computation and these computation devices."

It's too soon, in my opinion, to see what Steve Jobs' legacy will truly be. He's left behind some amazing innovation. He's left us looking at technology, and what it can be, in an entirely different light. But making computers something that almost everyone has, that everyone can figure out how to use, sometimes with just a swipe of their finger, that will be one of them. Making computers things that are not only great to know how to use, but a coveted and cool part of one's arsenal, that's another.

The ability to stay connected to what matters most to us - that's a pretty nice something to leave behind.

Who Needs An English Major?

This weekend your MatchGirl had the opportunity to hear American RadioWorks "Who Needs An English Major?" on WNYC.

As I've been thinking, gentle readers, about the state of our educational system of late (in posts such as Jobs For The Future? Rethink Education and Higher Education Reform?), this was a special that certainly piqued my interest. As someone who went to a good liberal arts college - a small, private university in New England - this is something I think about and have some opinions on.

I spent most of my twenties trying to figure out what to do next, following my fears instead of my dreams, and not pushing myself to achieve much more than what I was doing at that exact moment. I deferred, though never defaulted, on college loans and, to that end, still have a few years of payments left to go as I approach my thirty-sixth birthday. Sometimes, this makes me crazy.

But then I think of what I got out of that education. Sure. I'm not a doctor or a lawyer. Though many of my classmates are. I certainly didn't marry my college sweetheart, I never really had one. But I learned to be different among people who were the same. I learned that standing out is not so bad. I learned to speak my mind and to question authority. I learned about the power of community and the power that can come from not only common interests, but from disparate ones.

Could I have learned these things at my state university? Sure. I probably could have. A lot of people I went to high school with went on to college in our hometown and have thrived. Though some are still treading water.

But what would not have happened, had I gone to my local university is this - I would not have learned to spread my wings and fly. The school was too close to the safety net of my mom and dad. Too close to the social life of high school. Too close to who I was known to be, not to who I could become.

I don't know if people need to go to small liberal arts colleges, they're not for everyone. They were never meant to be.

But I do know that people need to learn to jump. And that they need to figure out how to pick themselves up when they fall. For me, studying studio art, running a college radio station, booking bands and getting lost walking around Boston in 1993, these are all things that helped me learn to fly. These are all experiences that made me the adult I have become. And will guide me through my future.

Well rounded, intelligent, interested people, they are what make the world an amazing place. And they very often are products of liberal arts educations - not business schools.

Ghosts In The Machine

As we go through this life, there is a constant ebb and flow of people we meet. Of people we lose. Of people we loved but we'll never see again.

Your MatchGirl, gentle readers, has been seeing ghosts. Not the kind that horror movies and Halloween specials are made of but ghosts of the past.

Maybe visions is a better word.

It's funny because in the age of social networks, we forget how easy it once was to lose hold, to lose track, to lose contact with people. But I think it still happens. And when you come face-to-face with one of those ghosts again, it brings you back to another time and place.

Your MatchGirl writes here, often, about using social media for your job search, about the importance of networking and keeping track of who you meet - of heling others because one day they might help you. We forget sometimes, though, in our push for the next big thing - the next job, the next promotion - that there are people from other parts of our lives who have helped us grow to where we stand now.

I was interviewed recently and asked, "What do you wish you knew when you were in college?" This is something that your MatchGirl has thought long and hard about. And the answer is something that brings ghosts to mind:

I wish, when I was at school, that I had known it was OK to follow my gut. I listened to a lot of advice from a lot of people, including some who told me I could never be more than I was – that I wouldn’t make it – and I wish I had known it was OK to ignore those people. That all advice should be taken with a grain of salt.

Because a lot of those people offering advice were not professional advisors (though a couple might have been professors). They were friends and lovers. They were people who saw me the way they imagined me to be, not the way that I could be. Not the way that I saw myself. When I was in school, I was not agressive about my wants and needs, I, for the most part, kept them hidden (this is something that started in elementary school, when it was not OK to speak up). In retrospect, I guess I was embarrassed to share my dreams and to show that I could make them happen.

This certainly held me back. But it also helped me to get where I am today. And every now and then a ghost pops up to remind me of the way things used to be and the way things might have been.


I'm curious, what ghosts are haunting your progress? Are there any visions out there holding you back?

Turn Turn Turn: The Cycle of Long Term Unemployment

In a recent item on The Huffington Post, Alan Krueger's study results announced that the long term unemployed looked for jobs less and slept more.

Gentle readers. Your MatchGirl is no scientist. But she was among the long-term unemployed.

Krueger and Mueller offered three likely explanations for the decline in job-search durations. First, workers could have run through most of the decent jobs to apply for. Second, they could have gotten better at searching and needed less time to scan and respond to ads. And third, they could have gotten discouraged and quit looking.

And as someone who was unemployed for 18 months, your MatchGirl knows a thing about the cycle of unemployment. Someone who is among the "long term unemployed" is someone who has been without a job for six months or more. And, as many of you know, gentle readers, from your own unemployment (as that's how so many of you came across this little blog), in this economy that time is often longer.

I remember the days of unemployment existing in cycles. Some weeks would be all about the hustle, writing emails, sending resumes, working on cover letters and scouring the job boards. But other weeks would be slow and depressing. Because there would be no worthwhile, or, you know, paying, jobs to apply for and there would no one to send anything to. In those times, your MatchGirl worked on her own creative projects and her own blogs and took classes, but not everyone does that. Not everyone wants to. Not everyone can.

Job searching is a job in itself. And rarely a rewarding one. Some mornings there are loads of jobs to apply to and a ton of business cards in your pocket to reach out to. Other mornings... not so much - just the same six jobs that had been taunting you for the past three days. What are you supposed to do? Then you take a day or two (or more) off from truly looking because, though you've followed up with everyone you can, you can't even get a response to an email, let alone an offer of an interview. And who wants to be so bummed out? So you surf the web and play Words With Friends and you watch some daytime television and fall asleep early. Then you wake up one morning excited to look again and you send out some emails and ... And so the cycle goes.

Someone who has never been one of the club cannot truly and fully appreciate the nuances and difficulties of this cycle. But we can, gentle ones. We've been there. We know how the story ends.

So, forget this study. Sleep if you're tired (though not if you're depressed, that's just no good). Look for jobs. Apply for things that are worth your while. And make your own magic happen.

Good luck, dear readers. I believe in you!

Five Years

There will be an agreement in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. – Ralph Waldo Emerson






What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?

Oh gosh gentle readers. This hits a little close to home. But, it's something that your MatchGirl has spent a lot of time thinking about ... as she ponders her life and times.

What would you say to the person you were five years ago?

Five years ago I was 30. I was excited to be thirty. I still felt young and like life was still of possibilities (at thirty-five, I still feel this way), but I was a bit of the mind set that life would happen to me. I wasn't quite sure how to make life go the way I envisioned that it should be.

To my 30 year old self, I would caution that life is what you make of it, not what happens to you.

To my 30 year old self, I would say, look around at all these people, at this birthday party. These people, they are your best friends. In five years, 90% of them will still be a part of your life. Love them and treat them right. They'll love you right back. And they'll protect the shit out of you - no matter what happens. I know you cherish them now. Continue to do so.

To my 30 year old self, I would remind that it's OK to be single. While sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's kind of fun. Take every day and every relationship and every man as it comes. Don't try so hard. Don't force it. I promise it will be all right.

To my 30 year old self, I would say, don't be so afraid. The worst that can happen is that you'll mess up. Life is to be lived. Stop being so timid. Stop being so cautious. Get over it.  Life is best when you live it.

What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?

In five years, I'll be 40. That's a big number. I remember my dad turning forty and everyone saying he was over the hill. Of course, my gay friends say that 40 is the new 21 (these are the same men who told me that 30 was the new 21). But that's okay. I don't want to be 21 again. That's a hard age. Looking forward, I'm not exactly excited to turn forty. But I don't fear it.

To my 40 year old self, I will say, know that your children are their own people. You can't right your regrets through them, You're journey was yours. You have to let theirs be their own.

To my 40 year old self, I will remind, that this journey has been a tough one, and, even if it still is a struggle, every piece is worth it. It must be - it has been so far.

To my 40 year old self, I will say this: Lighten up. Stop being so serious. Remember to spend at least as much (if not more) time living outside your own head as you do in it.

To my 40 year old self, I will say, look at these friends around you - this man you've chosen to spend your life with, these people whose weddings you've attended, this extended family that you have gathered around you, blood or not - these people have been with you for all this time. Love them and cherish them and treat them well. They love you and cherish you and, still, will protect the shit out of you. These friendships, this community - this is something that's amazing. This is something that a lot of people don't have. Don't take it for granted.

Life At Best Is Bittersweet

A new post on A Precious Environment on the excitement and the tragedy of our first weekend in our new home.

If you enjoy reading Unemployed Brooklyn, please feel free to follow your MatchGirl's further adventures on my new blog, about building a home and a life together with Boyfriend.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Two years of Unemployed Brooklyn!
Thanks for reading, gentle ones.
Your MatchGirl loves you all.

Evolution

I started this blog, gentle readers, on February 2, 2009 for this purpose:

[To write] about my search for a job, about what I do with my lazy days, about what I do to save a few pennies while living on the dole ...

That was a long time ago, dear ones, and your MatchGirl's life has certainly changed a lot since then.  It's been a long time since my days were lazy - even in unemployment, laziness was not the key to my day.  It's been several months, even, since I was unemployed.  I'm not so single.  I am still trying to save a few pennies, but not for the sole purpose of surviving from day to day - more for the purpose of having savings and looking towards the future.

Over the past couple of years, I have kissed a lot of frogs.  I have applied for a lot of jobs.  I have gotten some fun press and some cool recognition and I have made friends with an extraordinary group of people.

This little blog has evolved with all of these things.  And, in the new year, like me, it can do nothing but evolve further.


So, even though I have a lot less time on my hands - time for writing my own thing - that I would like to, here is my blog.  It will change as I change and as the things in my life change.  I'll no longer (or not for now anyway) write about online dating (done that) or first dates (hopefully done with those, too!).  I don't have the need for sending out a jillion resumes (thank goodness).  I won't be heading out on job interviews where no one replies to me (I have a job and -fingers crossed - I'm gonna hold on to it).  but I will, gentle readers, continue to write.  As unemployment persists, I'll write about that the best I can.  As my relationship progresses, perhaps Boyfriend will make an appearance.  As I grow in my job, I'll write about that, too.

This blog will evolve.  It's like life.  It's got to keep growing.

Reflections

The other day, gentle readers, a wise friend sent me a birthday message wishing me a happy new year.  And your MatchGirl thinks that this is the passage of time that deserves reflection.  Resolutions? Perhaps.  I'm not so sure.  But reflection, most certainly.

Your MatchGirl had a wonderful birthday weekend.  I celebrated in Greenpoint and Williamsburg - with old friends and new and some who I was lucky enough to meet through this blog.  On Sunday, Boyfriend and I drove out to the Hamptons and took a walk along the Autumnal (his word) beach.

All in all, it was a good weekend.  There is nothing that I would have done differently.

As readers of this little page know, a lot has changed for your MatchGirl in the past 12 months.  I'm no longer unemployed.  I'm not so much single.  I've done things and met people in this past year that I could not have imagined on the eve of my 34th birthday.  And I could not feel more lucky for it.

Thank you, all, for this year.

Here's to the next.

Jane Austen?

A month or two ago, sitting with a girlfriend in my kitchen, drinking beer and sewing curtains, we gossiped, as people do, about relationships - past, present and future. As stories unfolded, she looked at me, gentle readers, and told me that I should write them all down, so that when she was finished reading the works of Jane Austen, she could read the tales of your MatchGirl's loves and losses.

Now, your MatchGirl has not read a lot of Jane Austen, though perhaps that would be a good summer reading endeavor, but my life's loves are certainly full of complex stories. There are none so simple as "girl meets boy". Of course, is that ever really the case in this modern society? We spend so much time online - making friends and acquaintances over social networking sites. We keep in touch with those we love over text messages and e-mails. I don't know about you, dear readers, but I barely just talk on the phone any longer.  It's a rare treat when I have the time.

I have one dear friend who met a girl in real life, and then, while living in separate countries, and chatting online and via Skype on a regular basis, decided that they should be in a relationship - before they had ever been alone together.  They've, of course, since spent time together.  And, to my eyes, and your MatchGirl has known this gentleman for a very long time, he is very happy.

Your MatchGirl, in case you could not tell, loves the written word.  And I love getting to know someone using the written word, but I wonder if all these things (of which I heartily partake) that are supposed to make it easier to communicate really make it harder.  I wonder if we were better off in those days where you met someone, in real life first, and got to know them slowly over a matter of time - over drinks and coffees and dinners and walks from the movie theater.  I remember those times.  I'm not sure my life was any better for it, but I wonder about them.

Connection

Oh, gentle readers, your MatchGirl is still channeling the mid-90s Brit pop - feeling nostalgic and a little melancholy all at once. Nostalgic for the salad days of youth, perhaps. And melancholy that it was fifteen years ago and being a proper adult seemed so very far away. Back in those days, all you had to do to connect with someone was go to a bar or a concert, hang out in a coffee shop or wander through the (now defunct) Tower Records in Harvard Square. You simply had to go to class and pay attention to the people in your seminar who has interesting things to say. To get a job, you spoke to a counselor on campus. You walked into a store you liked and asked if they were hiring.

Oh my, how times have changed.

Perhaps some of what has changed is simply perception. We're not kids anymore and everything looks so very rosy and romantic in hindsight.

Or, maybe the internet has changed everything.

From Craigslist to Monster to Match, whether you are looking for a job or a date, all one seems to need to do is hop on the web and everything is at their fingertips. Don't get me wrong, gentle ones, your MatchGirl is amazed at the connections she has been able to make through this forum - through blogging and Tweeting and Facebook pages - but, I am lucky to have made a lot of those connections with people who live right here in Greenpoint. I am lucky to have met them in real life and be able to go and grab a coffee or a cocktail with them.

It is a little over a year since I was laid off and it is also a little over a year since I started online dating. I'm ashamed of neither. The economy (and my bosses stocks) tanked and my position was a casualty. I was single and not meeting anyone else who was single, so I decided to sign up for an online service and see who was out there. Both have been enriching and interesting experiences.

Unfortunately, in the desolation that is the American economy in 2010, finding a job online just doesn't seem that likely. The last place I interviewed told me they had received 450 applications - only counting the people who applied properly, answering the supplemental questions and sending their resume to the email address embedded in the body of the job listing. I felt honored just to interview. Honestly. There are so many thousands of people out there right now, searching earnestly for a job. I can't even conceive of the hundreds and hundreds of resumes that each employer receives in their email inbox. I can't imagine sifting through them all, looking for that perfect match.

Online dating is kind of the same. There are so many single people out there - of all shapes and ages and sizes - too shy to speak to someone at a bar or coffee shop. They see a pretty face on the subway and, instead of taking a deep breath and saying "hello", they rush home and write a Missed Connection - throwing it out into the ether and leaving it in the hands of whatever fate they subscribe to that their dream hunny (or an astute friend) is going to see that missive. They troll through pages and pages of online profiles, looking at pictures and sending out emails. All in the hope that not only will the object of their desire respond, but that, upon meeting, the connection will be there and that that one will be "the one".

This morning, as I sit here, perusing the job postings on Craigslist and MediaBistro, I'm over it. I am so very tired of reading these anonymous listings of job descriptions from nameless companies I know nothing about. I want a job - I desperately want a job - but I want a job that is a good fit. For both the employer and for me. I feel as though these anonymous ads on Craigslist are just wasting time. Not only mine, but the company's as well. To sift through a thousand resumes is a pain in the ass, and, by the time that the reader gets through the piles, we all know they will be less focused than when they began the process. The anonymity of the postings also leads to tedious cover letters. If you have no idea who you are addressing, how can you really introduce yourself as being the right one for the job?

As for online dating? Over that, too. Sure, I've met some very interesting people. Some I would never go out with again, but they make a good story for a cocktail party. Some have become good friends, and I'm glad to have them in my circle. But I miss the days when you talk to someone at a party or a dinner or waiting for the bus. I miss the days of making that initial connection.

I am ready to have a job. I am ready for a commute and wearing heels every day and not being able to log onto Facebook whenever I want. I am ready for conference calls and water cooler conversation and intra-office gossip.

I am ready to stop going on first dates. I am ready for dates three and four and hand holding and movie watching and that giddy excitement of actually getting to know someone. In real life.

Cigarettes & Alcohol

Is it my imagination
Or have I finally found something worth living for?
I was looking for some action
But all I found was cigarettes and alcohol

You could wait for a lifetime
To spend your days in the sunshine
You might as well do the white line
Cos when it comes on top . . .

You gotta make it happen!

Is it worth the aggravation
To find yourself a job when there's nothing worth working for?
It's a crazy situation
But all I need are cigarettes and alcohol!

You could wait for a lifetime
To spend your days in the sunshine
You might as well do the white line
Cos when it comes on top . . .

You gotta make it happen! 

Oasis, Cigarettes and Alcohol, 1994

Ah, gentle readers, your MatchGirl has been spending a bit of time living in the past lately.  Having deep memories of times gone by.  Not longing for them, not by any means, but most certainly thinking of those times.  

With kind of a sense of wonder.

Watching VH1 Classic the other day (yes, I am old enough that the songs I adored in college are now shown on VH1 Classic) I heard this song again.  Cigarettes and Alcohol, by Oasis (before Wonderwall.  Before most of you, dear readers, had ever hear of them).  This song is the lament of all youth - thinking that they are wiser than they are, thinking that the life they have ahead is nothing but a bore.  Thinking that there is nothing to do but get drunk and do drugs and live for today because tomorrow is not worth very much.

And, no matter the time period, the "youth of today" always feel that way.

At the time that album came out, the economy in Britain was in the crapper.  From Wikipedia:

The song proclaims the inherent appeal of cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs as a remedy to the banality and seemingly futile nature of the working class life. Lyrics such as "Is it worth the aggravation to find yourself a job when there's nothing worth working for?" tapped into the mood of many in the mid-1990s (when released) as well as a common sentiment today.

Upon first hearing the song, the man who discovered the band, Alan McGee, claimed that the song was one of the greatest societal statements anyone had made in the past 25 years.

Anyway, dear ones, your MatchGirl hates to dissect poetry.  I like to hear it, to feel it, to really listen to it and to let it take me somewhere.  I feel this way about most art.  Sure, I spent a lot of years reading art theory and studying paintings.  Sure, I belong to a book club.  It's because I like discourse, not dissection.

That said, I heard this song the other day and he reminded me not only of being, um, young(er), but of the right now.  Of the economic situation.  Of how hard it is to find a job and how sometimes you just want to say "fuck it" and throw in the towel because there doesn't seem to be anything out there worth the time or effort.  There are so few jobs (and, let be serious, men) out there that sometimes it just seems like it would be easier to just give up.

Not that I'm going to.

It's not my nature.

But I might keep the early 90s BritPop on a loop for a while.

One Year...

Good morning, gentle readers.
Can you believe that it was one year ago today that your MatchGirl, depressed and disheartened, crawled out of bed on a dismal February morning and started this little tome?

I can't begin to quantify how thing have changed for me since that day.  I'm still an unemployed gal in Greenpoint, Brooklyn.  But the quality of my life, except for that pesky no income part, could not be better.

I have been lucky enough to meet some amazing people, to work on some great projects and to bring together people in a way that wasn't available previously in our neighborhood.  I've been able to focus on what I enjoy doing and, at the same time, grow my profile and my resume.  And, most significantly, and importantly to me personally, I've been able to let a few of you know that you are not alone in this unemployed world.

Thank you for reading, dear ones.

xoxo

Year In Review

Ah, gentle readers, it's that time of year when people list their favorites and their best and worsts of the previous year. This December 31st there's even more lists as we are embarking on a new decade. There has also been a lot of talk about how much 2009 truly sucked and how excited people are for 2010.

Here's the thing, dear ones, I enjoyed 2009. A lot. Sure, I'm unemployed. And sure I'm ending the year with about $50 in my bank account. And sure I'm heading solo to a New Year's Eve Party (though with dear dear friends). But 2009 has far surpassed 2008. The previous year, I can honestly say, sucked. Sure, a few good things happened (notably the birth of my pal Dash), but mostly it sucked. In 2008 I got dumped, my grandfather died, I cried myself to sleep on my birthday and I got laid off. In 2009, however, things looked up. Don't laugh.

One February morning in 2009, I woke up and decided that Iw as going to write a blog abut my life as a single and unemployed person in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. I didn't really expect that anyone would read it. I just wanted to put it out there and feel less alone in my unemployment. Then one summer day in 2009, a reporter from NY1 emailed me and things took off from there.

In 2009 I lived off my unemployment check. I sent out resumes to which no one responded. I stayed home while my friends went on fabulous vacations as I barely had the cash to take Greyhound to visit friends in Boston. But, in 2009, I started organizing meet-ups for my fellow un(der)employed in North Brooklyn. And through those meet-ups, I met a few of you - some of whom have turned into very close friends and collaborators. I had the opportunity to really spend time in my community, in my neighborhood, and I feel more a part of it than ever before.

I have high hopes for 2010, dear readers. I have exciting opportunities I'm looking forward to sharing with you. But for now, my gentle ones, I simply want to thank you for reading and sharing in my little world and to wish you happiness and health and employment in the new year.