On Being Poor

Gentle readers, your MatchGirl is so very tired. She is tired of being poor.

Though I am employed, I feel like my income level has been slowly moving backward (Don't take this the wrong way. Your MatchGirl knows there are loads of people worse off than she.), since I was laid off (due to downsizing and company shutdown) in the Autumn of 2008. It's hard to make a buck in New York City ... well, more importantly, it's hard to save a buck in New York City.

And while the millenials may be more focused on moving up and forward than on planning for what happens, later, as this post on Brazen Careerist recommends, your MatchGirl has been out of her twenties for a long while now. And, though I didn't think about saving money then, I also didn't really think about my long term career goals. In my twenties, I thought about how to pay the rent and how to get groceries and how to have enough left over to have a meal out here and there and to buy some new, yet inexpensive, clothes from time to time. I didn't think about tomorrow.

But tomorrow is here.

Now I am doing something that I enjoy. That is so "me." That I am planning a long term career around. But I still find myself struggling financially. So what's a girl to do?

Your MatchGirl, dear readers, is looking for something more. Something extra. And, as she enjoys writing for you here on this blog, on A Precious Environment, and on her work blogs, she is looking to take on some freelance writing (ghost, copy or other) as a way to supplement her day job.

It's hard to admit that you're not quite where you want to be, where you're working towards, especially this late in life. I am fully self-aware, gentle ones, and I am, as long time readers know, not afraid to reach out and ask for what I need or to tell you what I am looking for. I love my day job. But right now, especially with Boyfriend out of work, I need to supplement that.

Let me know if you know of anything...

Private Eyes: Protecting Yourself From Social Media's Prying Eyes

On Friday, gentle readers, your MatchGirl came across and interesting snippet on MediaBistro. The FTC has given approval for a new company that specializes in social media background checks.

As many of you navigate the current world of unemployment and under employment, job hunting and freelancing, you might have wondered how you should handle your online existence. It's part of the reason that, when your MatchGirl started this blog in 2009, I kept Unemployed Brooklyn anonymous. I was job hunting and I was worried that something I wrote could hamper my hunt. As time went on and I gained a bit of a following, and the economy remained in the crapper, it seemed silly not to allow my story to be covered and shared. So I happily shed the blanket of anonymity and put myself out there full force. Along the way, all I've been is me.

But that's not for everyone.

And, even though I am nothing but honest when I write online, I do still make sure to conduct myself with a certain amount of decorum. It's still a public forum, anonymous or no.

Tips for those worried about what others may find when they run a Google search:

That MySpace or Friendster account you created in your younger days - where you thought the bong in the background or the picture of you doing an (underage) keg stand were hilarious and harmless? Delete 'em. The pictures or the profiles, it doesn't matter. Even if you haven't logged on to those sites in years, the internet never forgets.

Set your security level to private. Worried that you may offend someone with strong political or religious beliefs. Worried that your personal lifestyle may not look too good to the CEO? Don't share them in a public forum. Put Facebook's security settings on their most private and limit your network to only those you know, who know the real you.

Keep Twitter toned down. I'm a big believer in Twitter accounts being open and public (though I understand that some people use them as they use Facebook, just to connect rapidly with people they already know), but if you are going to be open to the public know that, know matter how crafty your pseudonym, someone will figure out it's you.

Basically, dear readers, while living your life online, use common sense. If there's nothing bad to find, no social media background check is going to find it. It's that simple.

Any tips that you use to make sure your social media presence is squeaky clean? Leave them in the comments.

Awesome infographic about Social Media and the job hunt, via Mashable.

More Fun With Craigslist or Get Paid What You're Worth

Gentle readers, when your MatchGirl was unemployed, she spent a lot of time looking at job listings, on all manner of sites, and Craigslist, that friendly marketplace, was amongst them. And during that time, your MatchGirl and your fellow readers stumbled upon some fairly ridiculous postings - so many that I decided to have a series of posts entitled More Fun With Craigslist - where I would take apart, bit by bit, the job posting.

Most of these were listings where the people were looking for interns or volunteers for their for-profit businesses, requiring knowledge of an arm's length of software and years plus of experience. For forty hours a week. Which is uncool and, usually, illegal.

People ask for, and get away with, a lot when the economy has hit rock bottom because they feel like it's an excuse for behaving badly. They need work done. They "can't" pay for it (or, at least, they don't want to) so they advertise a position labeled, only at the bottom usually, as an internship.

It's been a while since your MatchGirl has trolled the pages of Craigslist, being employed and all, but as we need some extra income right now (see this post if you are wondering why), dear readers, I have hit the net in search of some freelance writing gigs (send 'em my way!). Which is where I came across the following:

Clicking on the picture should bring it up larger, but let me share the key point: Joonbug.com is seeking a fast-paced, dedicated and knowledgeable individual to fill the position of Fashion Editor for our one-million user blog site. This is an unpaid internship that holds the potential of securing you a position in the multi-faceted industry.

You have a site with a million users and you want an unpaid intern to be the fashion editor?

Seriously?

That's messed up.

Interview 101

With Boyfriend on the lookout for a new gig, I thought I'd share some tips on the face-to-face of a job interview.

While it's been a while, thankfully, since your MatchGirl has had to think of these things for herself, prepping with Boyfriend for what's to come, has brought back some memories from those 18 months that I was unemployed!

Five tips, in no particular order, to help you get ready:

Tip #1: Go in thinking you've got it. This doesn't mean go in cocky and be a dick. But it means go in showing confidence, like you know that you can do it. And that you'd be a great addition to the team.

Tip #2: Ask questions. People love to talk about themselves, even when they are interviewing you. Ask questions about the position specifically and the company generally.

Tip #3: Be prepared. Memorize that website. But, going back to don't be cocky, if the interviewer starts to tell you something you already know from your research, be cool. Don't interrupt. When they finish, feel free to mention that you read it on the website and add your two cents.

Tip #4: Keep it brief. In February of 2010, I posted about the three minute interview. It's all still valid today (and for you entrepreneurs out there, works well as elevator pitch guidelines). Be concise. Be on point.

Tip #5: Breathe.

The interview that I had for the job I finally got hired to do, was an 8-something AM interview, held in the lobby of the Ace Hotel. I'd been on so many similar interviews. I'm not going to say I wasn't nervous, but my unemployment, and all its extensions, were about to run out and I had figured out a pretty palpable game plan for how I was going to make ends meet for the short term. I went into that interview thinking that I was supremely qualified, but that there was no way I was going to get it. Perhaps, at least inwardly, a little defeated. And to that end, I was so much calmer and more relaxed than I had been in prior interviews. My life didn't depend on it. I'd figured out something, at least short term, and I had come to terms with the fact that it would be a long time before the economy was out of the crapper. So I remembered to breathe.

I'm certainly not saying that being calm was the only thing that got me the job, but it definitely helped me be myself and not second guess myself while I was in the interview. Which can only ever lead to good things.

Do you have any tips for Boyfriend as he preps for job interviews? Any ideas to help him out?

Leave them in the comments.

One of the best interviews ever:

A Polite Society

Last week, gentle readers your MatchGirl wrote a post entitled Simple Manners, which received a couple of comments on the blog and several more on Twitter and in my inbox.

One of them came from Rich P, who posed the question, "Which part struck the louder chord for you, the stepping onto the shoe or the opportunity taken of the man who retrieved it?"and followed up by saying, "I often find what I'm noticing says more to me about "me" than the players involved in the scene."

And while I answered him in the comments section, I thought I would take a moment to further address what Rich has to say. Your MatchGirl, dear readers, is far from perfect. And though I am the biggest advocate of a polite society (though not the one advocated on this blog!), I am sure there are times when I am not in the right, though I hope they are few and far between.

And in thinking more on the topic and in discussing it further, with Boyfriend and another friend, I have come to realize that one of the integral parts of manners and being polite, in general, is grace.

Or, specifically, graciousness.

To be kind. To be courteous. To be compassionate. These are all a part of having good manners. They are, in fact, what keeps a polite society moving forward.

When someone is rude to you or bumps into you, it's not only on them to apologize. It's on you to accept. To say, "No worries" or "That's OK" and to move along. It's on you to let the bad feelings go and forgive their misstep. All they can do, especially in passing (on the street, on the subway, in the elevator), is say they are sorry or excuse me. If you're an ass about it - then the bad manners are on you.

Just a thought.

As I have written here before, be good to each other. It's all that matters in the end.

Unemployed Boyfriend

This week, gentle readers, your MatchGirl and Boyfriend fell upon some hard times. Boyfriend was laid off from his job.

As a gal who was long unemployed, your MatchGirl can relate to all he is going through, all he is feeling and all the anxiety that a lay off can cause. It's especially doubled, as when your MatchGirl was laid off, at least she was single and only had herself to provide for - and decision I made I really only had to think about me. But Boyfriend and I live together and have been taking steps towards a bigger and better life together. So this feels like a really big bump in the road.

Even though the economy is still in the crapper, your MatchGirl is sure that Boyfriend will find something. We are both reaching out to our networks. We are both scouring the job listings. We are being open with each other about what we're feeling and what we're thinking and what we're afraid of. It's all, at the end of the day, that we can really do.

Wish us luck!

Simple Manners

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.  If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use.” ― Emily Post

Your MatchGirl, gentle readers, spends a lot of time thinking about manners. On my commute to work. Walking down the street. In the aisles of the grocery store. Reading comments on blogs. People are taking any chance they have to be incredibly rude. Perhaps part of that is the anonymity of the big city (or the feeling of anonymity that an anonymous blog comment lends). Perhaps part of it is just that people are not that nice.

I've written a bit about manners here before, in a post about employers following up with job seekers and (briefly) in a post about about elevator pitches/3-minute interviews, but I think it's a topic that rarely goes out of style.

In the job hunt, the job seeker is often overly, and overtly, polite. Making sure to do every single thing by the book. The employer, looking for a candidate, on the other hand, is rarely as polite (though, when I recently had to go through a stack of resumes at work, and interview a slew of people, your MatchGirl made sure she let every person she spoke with or corresponded with, whether we wanted them to come back or not). Some places send automated replies - often as much as a month after an application has been received. Sure, a person has not actually looked at these resumes, just a bot searching for matching keywords, but still - if you reply to that email (which often looks like it is coming from an actual person) you will never, ever, ever get a response!

In everyday life people are just plain rude. Maybe it's the heat. Maybe it's the city. Maybe it's the L train. I'm not sure. But people's manners of late are noticeably lacking. Every day on my way to work I get shoved, stepped on, sat on or jostled and no one says a word. Yesterday on the 6th Avenue L platform, I saw a girl step on the back of another girl's shoe, so the shoe went flying a few feet away. The second girl obviously didn't want to walk barefoot on the gross platform to get it back and the girl whose fault it was not only didn't offer any assistance, she looked pissed that the other girl had been walking slow enough that she had gotten stepped on. She most certainly didn't say "I'm sorry" or even "Excuse me." Luckily, in a rare moment of NYC politeness, a fellow commuter snagged the shoe out of the crowd and handed it back to the barefoot gal. If your MatchGirl had not been noticing the prevailing rudeness in the city of late, it's possible she wouldn't have even noticed this little exchange - but it seems so very, unfortunately, common these days.

If there is a mantra to this blog, it is, please treat others how you want to be treated. Be good to each other.

Life is so much easier if we simply try to help each other along and up, instead of constantly tearing each other down.