Contemplation

Gentle readers, in 4 months and 23 days your MatchGirl will be 35 years old.

Now, while that may not really be so old in the general scheme of things, I gotta tell you, my life at 35 (almost) is not really where I thought it would be when I was 25(ish).

That's not to complain about my life.  It's good.  I spent a year and a half of it being unemployed and getting to know myself and my neighborhood and my neighbors.  I have friends who, every single day, surprise and amaze me.  I have a (newish) job in a growing field, where I'm constantly learning, having to stay on my toes and working with some of the most interesting and creative people I've met.

But it's a life that is very different than the one I'd imagined for myself.

There are a few pieces that still need to fall into place.  They're the pieces that can't be forced.  The ones one has to sit back and wait for, maybe giving a little nudge here and there.  But definitely the one that cannot be forced.  And this, dear readers, for your impatient MatchGirl, is the most difficult part of the journey...

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Frugality And The Working Girl

Ah, gentle readers, your MatchGirl may have a job, but that doesn't mean she's rolling in dough.  Of course, a lady never talks about money.  But this lady is going to tell you a thing or two about keeping it. 

Of course, loyal readers of this little blog will know that I am a frugal girl.  That I survived on unemployment with no credit cards and no money from mom and dad or that imaginary trust fund (that so many accused me of having).  That even though I had very little money, I still managed to have a pretty good life while looking for a job.

Now, as you know, I am working.  And I have a paycheck.  And some of those little luxuries that accompany that - the ability to pay bills/rent on time, health insurance, groceries.  And I have the ability to do a few things that I had to be careful about before, like dinner out at a nice(ish) restaurant with friends.  And there are a few things that I really want  - a necklace much like this one at Catbird, the awesome Bibliotheque dress (and maybe a couple of others) at Hayden Harnett, this awesome cross body bag by Magnes Sisters (yeah yeah, even though I go to Manhattan every day, I still like to keep my spending in the 'hood!). And I think I will get them.

But, dear ones, there are other things that a gal needs to think about.
Like the future.

So, to that end, I will put aside the money for the things I want now - a girl needs a couple of new things to stay stylish in her new job - but I will also put money aside for other things.  My student loan, long deferred.  Getting my cat fixed.  Money every month into my savings account.  And, now that I am getting back on my feet for the right now, money into an IRA (though I still need to find one) for the future.

After spending a year and a half on the very tight budget of unemployment, I know that it will be easier for me to stay on budget than when I was previously employed.  It's nice to have some spending money for the niceties in life, but it will be even nicer to have it when I'm sixty-five!

Holiday Weekend

This was a holiday weekend, gentle readers.  It's been a long time since your MatchGirl has enjoyed a holiday weekend.  And, before those of you who have not lived the unemployed life say that the whole thing is a holiday weekend or a vacation or whatever you say - believe you me, it's not the same thing.

But this weekend, your MatchGirl was able to really enjoy a three day weekend (because, even in previous employment, I always had such crazy schedules that they just weren't the same as my friends who worked in the 9 to 5 world).  And enjoy it, I did.

While the whole weekend was mellow and lovely, it was really Sunday that epitomized the start of summer.  The way I hope sets the tone for weekends for the rest of the summer.

Sunday started mellow, listening to NPR and puttering about the apartment.  But in the afternoon, I met up with my friend T and went to a little BBQ on my friend Tony and Jackie's roof.  There was a ton of meat, cold beer and interesting conversation on a Greenpoint rooftop.  When T and I were leaving the rooftop, we ran into a couple of the guys from Cafe Royal, sitting outside and enjoying the weather, so we stopped for a chat - where the conversation ran from barbecue to the neighborhood to the intricacies of the Arabic language to the USS Iwo Jima.  Then we touched base with a couple of friends who had a friend in town from Germany and, though we had just eaten delicious grilled meat for several hours, we somehow found ourselves at Fatty Cue eating even more.

It was one of those easy, sleepy, dreamy summer days with not a care in the world.

It was one of those kinds of days that is so easy to not appreciate when you're unemployed.  But it was also one of those days that is so easy to overlook when you are used to the rhythm of the working world and those Bank holidays that happen from time to time.

I'm happy to be in the working world, and happy to be getting into the swing of things.  And very happy that it's still new enough that I can truly appreciate things like a three day weekend.

A Case For Friendship

Ah, gentle readers, your MatchGirl may have been a bit spotty with the posting of late, but I promise to be better from now on.  Employment won't keep me away from you.

This blog began as "one girl's perspective on being unemployed and single in Greenpoint, Brooklyn."  And I feel that I've remained true to that.  Though, often a lot more posts focus on my life as an unemployed gal, this one is about the part of my life that's me as a single girl.

Over the past year or so, dear ones, your MatchGirl has dated.  A lot.  This is not to say that she is out hooking up with a lot of men.  But this does mean that she has been on several first dates, a handful of second ones and even met some guys who stuck around for (or were kept around for?) dates that numbered into the double digits.  She has certainly kissed a lot of frogs.

While dating itself is kind of fun - anticipation, fresh conversation, meeting new people who are, whether they're a love connection or not, for the most part interesting and engaging and nice to spend an hour or two with - actually being single, meeting the people to go on those dates with and, no employed, finding the time to do so is a little stressful.

My favorite, though, are the dates that were unexpected, unplanned, unsure. Tentative meetings with men that you know through friends or work or events or just running into around the neighborhood.

And here is why - there are no nerves, just easy conversation.  It's easy to have a drink with a friend.  We do it all the time.  It's easy to meet up with someone you want to get to know better - that's how friendships flourish.

Think of it this way, gentle ones:  You're at a party and you start chatting with someone of the same sex (or opposite sex if you're attracted to those of the same sex) and it turns out that you have a lot in common or you live in the same neighborhood or you both list "Can't Buy Me Love" among your favorite movies so you decide that you should have coffee or brunch or have a cocktail and get to know each other better.  You don't think twice about texting her or shooting off an e-mail.  You call because you want to hang out.

There are no rules.  There are no games.  There is simply "Let's hang out and get to know each other better."

In my opinion, dear readers, this is a much more civilized way to go about things.

And, to that end, I have made a resolution - or, actually, committed to keeping a resolution that I made a long time ago.

I will play no games.
If I have a lovely time with a gentleman, I will let him know.
If I want to see him again, I'll tell him.
If I feel like sending him a text, I will.
If he freaks out...  then he's not the man for me.

Life's to short to wait around for games and three-day rules.  Every great relationship is built on friendship anyway, so why not approach dating the same way you would making a new friend?

Clothing Swap, May 22

Gentle readers, your MatchGirl knows that many of you found this little tome by doing a little Google search for "clothing swap" and finding some info on one my friends held at Union Pool a while back.  While there are a lot of other sites that post this kind of information more frequently (Brokelyn, theskint), I am happy to pass it along when things come my way.

And, as this one's leftover clothes will go to the same charity as the one my friends organized, it seemed a nice fit (though, you'll have to leave Greenpoint!)

From Michael:

Clean out your closet, find new threads from your neighbor's closet, and keep clothes out of landfills! Bring your clean and usable women’s, men’s, and children’s clothing to contribute.
Because reduce/reuse/recycle is *always* in fashion.


Clothes left over from the swap will go to the wonderful programs at Housing Works, which provide the highest quality services for homeless men, women, and children living with HIV and AIDS in New York City and beyond.


Brought to you by Greener Gotham Events, founded by Green Party activists to create fun and social eco-events in the Five Boroughs!


We'll be at All Saints Catholic Church, located at 115 Throop Ave (basement entrance) at the corner of Thorton Street. Take the G and J/M trains to Flushing Avenue -- or the L train to Montrose Avenue.


FREE with a contribution of clean, usable clothes to the swap. Email michael@counterpower.org or call 347-788-1646.

Unfortunately, dear readers, your MatchGirl has quadruple booked herself for next Saturday (her head spins just thinking about the hectic day!), but you should definitely go, take some clothes that you're sick of and go home with a bunch of new-to-you finds!

Work It Brooklyn: Industry Focus - Fashion

As you know, gentle readers,  your MatchGirl has been involved in organizing a pretty amazing group called Work It Brooklyn. Our first event, on February of this year was a phenomenal success.  While we'll be going forward with larger mix and mingle type events, we'll be having smaller, focused events (about once a month), where people working in specific fields can come together to network and learn from one another.  At these events, we'll have panel discussions with established professionals and a mixer afterward.


We're excited to say that our next event will be tomorrow evening. There are still a few spaces left (it's free to register!).  Details below:

To balance out our larger primary events, Work It Brooklyn is beginning a series of smaller, intimate industry-focused events and May 12th's FASHION event will kick it all off!

There will be a great panel of local industry self-starters to offer you their insight, help you learn from their experiences, and offer their thoughts on how to "make it" in the fashion and accessory business-- whether as a designer, publicist, retailer, publicist, or wherever your path may lead you. Q & A will follow. Submit your questions for our speakers here.

This is a great event for Brooklyn-based (and beyond!) fashion and accessory designers, stylists, fashion writers, producers, students, photographers, publicists, and boutique owners. All participants are strongly encouraged to bring business cards to pass onto all of the new contacts you'll be making at this event! Feel free to also bring clips or portfolios to share.

REGISTER NOW!
Pre-registration is required and capacity is strictly limited to 45 participants.



THE PANELISTS


Bob Bland
Founder and Brand Director, Brooklyn Royalty

Bob is a professional menswear designer with experience at Triple Five Soul, Rugby by Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger and Banana Republic. The Brooklyn Royalty line she started is inspired by the fiercely independent spirit and highly individual aesthetic of King’s County residents. The line combines timeless design principles, premium materials and hand-printed graphics that are meant to look and wear better over time.


 
Toni Hacker
Owner and Creative Director, Hayden Harnett

Working as a designer since 1999, Toni Hacker launched indie fashion company Hayden-Harnett in April of 2005 with her partner Ben Harnett. The brand, known for fine leather goods and women's apparel, is sold globally and has grown to include two NYC-based retail stores. Big believers in group synergy, the couple launched The Collective Showroom, an incubator and mentoring project for local and emerging designers in September 2009.



Elaine La Personerie
Founder, Wink PR

Wink PR specializes in publicity, marketing and event planning. Clients include fashion/accessories, food, authors, personalities and consumer product brands. Elaine's experiences in building her own business from the ground up will lend great insight to the panel and guests.




THE EVENING
6:45-7:00pm - Check-In
7:00-8:00pm - Panel Discussion begins, followed by Q+A
8:00-9:00pm - Networking Cocktail Hour

Location: Kingdom, 170 North 4th Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY 11211
Questions? Let us know! workitbrooklyn@gmail.com

Black and White Town

I've been thinking a lot lately, gentle readers, about youth - about all I know now (and I'm not that old) and all I didn't know before.  All the places I have been and all the people I have known.

I keep meeting new people.  Through work and this blog and all the things I have become involved in and I'm constantly surprised, dear ones, by just how very young some of the people I meet seem.

Now, before you start telling me that all people are different and that your MatchGirl should not be so judgmental, I want you to know that I'm not painting with broad strokes.  But.  But, young people tend to view this whole wide world in black and white.  Good and bad.  Right and wrong.  And, often times, they are fanatical about these feelings.  To me, this is simply a sign of naivete, of youth.  And, no matter how intelligent or capable, the fact that these young people are viewing the world as black and white simply shows a lack of understanding.

It's ignorant.

Once you've lived a little bit in the world - experienced life through the highs and lows of love and loss.  Through heartache and heartbreak, through having a major change and really feeling who you are and what you can be.  Don't tell me that theere are no shades of grey.

I know people who were more mature at 19 than others I've known at 45.  They'd lived life and they'd found out, very young, that the world is not so simple as pure black and white.

Maybe, gentle readers, I envy a bit those who can look at the world with such base understanding.  It's easy to go through life with blinders on, thinking that you know everything.  For the rest of us, not living in a black and white town, things just aren't so simple.