The Seed of Action

I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady. I wish it to be sound and sweet, and not to need diet and bleeding. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Think about the type of person you’d NEVER want to be 5 years from now. Write out your own personal recipe to prevent this from happening and commit to following it. “Thought is the seed of action.” - Harley Schreiber


In five years, gentle readers, your MatchGirl will be 40 years old (on the cusp of turning 41). Here are things I don't want:

• I don't want to be uninspired.

• I don't want to be bored.

• I don't want to think I know everything.

• I don't want to have stopped learning.

• I don't want to be sedentary.

• I don't want to have stopped trying.

• I don't want to be so comfortable in my live that I've stopped striving to make things better.

• I don't want to be anyone different than me.

My recipe to make sure these things don't happen? I think I'll just continue on the path I'm on and everything will be a-OK. The thing about stumbling onto a clear(ish) path a little later in life is that you have spent your twenties (and maybe early thirties) walking on paths that don't quite make sense. You've got a lot of experiences stored in your memories to keep yourself on track.

Today is the official last day of the Ralph Waldo Emerson Self-Reliance Trust 30 Challenge. As I've been posting, when I deem that I want to share my thoughts, only on weekdays, you'll have to bare with me a few more (five) days. I hope that you've enjoyed these musings. I hope that you've gotten something from them. And, most importantly, I hope that you have joined me in contemplating the next actions of your lives, as I have mine.

Getting It Right

The secret of fortune is joy in our hands. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What if today, right now, no jokes at all, you were actually in charge, the boss, the Head Honcho. Write the “call to arms” note you’re sending to everyone (staff, customers, suppliers, Board) charting the path ahead for the next 12 months and the next 5 years. Now take this manifesto, print it out somewhere you can see, preferably in big letters you can read from your chair.

You’re just written your own job description. You know what you have to do. Go!

(bonus: send it to the CEO with the title “The things we absolutely have to get right – nothing else matters.”)

Wow. Sasha Dichter's prompt is no joke. Your MatchGirl has thought on this and, strangely, as she moves into her new position at her job (TODAY!!!), this is something she is working on. This is something, that when it's complete, I will share with my CEO. Sort of. Not necessarily a direction for the whole company, but certainly a direction for the company as a whole. I have been slowly, yet surely, carving out a little place or myself, in the world - in the world of my work and in the world as a whole. I have been quietly making my own manifesto.

It's an exciting proposition, gentle readers. I suggest you try it.

Side note: Anyone else find it weird that Sasha Dichter and Susan Piver chose the same quote, yet arrived at two distinctly different prompts?

Ordinary World

Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong what is against it. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are our most potent at our most ordinary. And yet most of us discount our “ordinary” because it is, well, ordinary. Or so we believe. But my ordinary is not yours. Three things block us from putting down our clever and picking up our ordinary: false comparisons with others (I’m not as good a writer as _____), false expectations of ourselves (I should be on the NYTimes best seller list or not write at all), and false investments in a story (it’s all been written before, I shouldn’t bother). What are your false comparisons? What are your false expectations? What are your false investments in a story? List them. Each keep you from that internal knowing about which Emerson writes. Each keeps you from making your strong offer to the world. Put down your clever, and pick up your ordinary.

This is a funny prompt from Patti Digh, gentle readers. It's funny because your MatchGirl always sees herself as ordinary. There is nothing particularly special or extraordinary about me. Certainly not. I'm smarter than some, less smart than others. I'm prettier than some, not as pretty as others. I'm a girl like any other, at the same time I am uniquely me.


I can't imagine being any way other than I am. Nor would I want to.


But I'm just a normal girl. An ordinary person. No better and no worse than anyone else out there. What I have accomplished, others can, too. The projects I have going on, they come from my heart and I'm excited to have them, to own them, to share them. But they don't mean that I am anything more or less than anyone else. I'm just doing my best to keep moving - forward, up, ahead - and to bring everyone I meet along with me. 

Intuition

The secret of fortune is joy in our hands. – Ralph Waldo Emerson


If you could picture your intuition as a person, what would he or she look like? If you sat down together for dinner, what is the first thing he or she would tell you? - Susan Piver


Is it just me, gentle readers, or is this prompt a little weird?


Don't get me wrong, your MatchGirl has very much enjoyed going through these thought challenges, one by one, day by day, and thinking about what her answers may be. Many I have shared with you here in the space and a few I have thought about on my own, and acted upon, or not. I'm not sure what my intuition would look like. I'm not sure I can personify something that is inside of me in a way that is any other than a reflection of myself.


I do think, though, that if Intuition and I were to site down to dinner, we'd probably have a good chat about the path I'm on now. About the amount of over-thinking that I am not doing. About how I am following, to the best of my first born child, Type-A(ish) personality, my heart over my head. And about how that seems to be working out pretty OK.

What Price Fear?

Greatness appeals to the future. If I can be firm enough to-day to do right, and scorn eyes, I must have done so much right before as to defend me now. Be it how it will, do right now. Always scorn appearances, and you always may. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Gentle readers, let us take Dan Andrews' points, one by one ...

Trusting intuition and making decisions based on it is the most important activity of the creative artist and entrepreneur. If you are facing (and fearing) a difficult life decision, ask yourself these three questions:

1) “What are the costs of inaction?” I find it can be helpful to fight fear with fear. Fears of acting are easily and immediately articulated by our “lizard brains” (thanks Seth) e.g. what if I fail? what if I look stupid? If you systematically and clearly list the main costs of inaction, they will generally overshadow your immediate fears.

Your MatchGirl supposes, dear reader, that the real cost of inaction is your own happiness. It is regret. It is the price of looking back on your life, on your days an wondering "What if...?" Your MatchGirl, those of you who have been here since the beginning, has certainly spent some time regretting paths not taken. I try, very hard to love my life without regret, but that does not mean that I don't, from time to time, look back on this "Choose Your Own Adventure" story we call life and wonder, "What if I had done this instead of that? What if I had been brave enough to ask that question?" One thing I do know... every time I have faced my fears and been brave enough to ask for something I really, really wanted in life, things have turned out exactly the way I wanted them to. The cost of inaction is regret.

2) “What kind of person do I want to be?” I’ve found this question to be extremely useful. I admire people who act bravely and decisively. I know the only way to join their ranks is to face decisions that scare me. By seeing my actions as a path to becoming something I admire, I am more likely to act and make the tough calls.

I want to be a happy person. This has been a long time coming. Doing the things I am doing now, working on the projects I have going, working at the job I have and being in the relationship I'm in - these things make me happy. And my projects, as I push forward, will only lead to greater happiness. This I know.

3) “In the event of failure, could I generate an alterative positive outcome?” Imagine yourself failing to an extreme. What could you learn or do in that situation to make it a positive experience? We are generally so committed to the results we seek at the outset of a task or project that we forget about all the incredible value and experience that comes from engaging the world proactively, learning, and improving our circumstances as we go along.

Gentle readers, your MatchGirl has been here. She has been low. She has been (near) destitute. But she kept her head above water and not only forged a path for herself, but she found herself a whole new career and community, just by doing what she loves most - connecting with people and connecting the people she knows with people they will find interesting/helpful/useful. This is something I will always find fulfilling - no matter the scale.

Dreams

Abide in the simple and noble regions of thy life, obey thy heart. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Write down your top three dreams. Now write down what’s holding you back from them.  – Michael Rad

Ah. Your MatchGirl, a little bit, gentle readers, believes that dreams are like wishes. If you share too much, too soon, they won't come true. Don't worry. My top three dreams are at the forefront of my thoughts every day. And I've shared them with the people I know can help them come true - and the one person who is nearly as invested as I am in making them come true.


The one thing holding my back? Me. Of course. The only person who can truly hold you back from your dreams is yourself. I work on that every day.

What's holding you back from your dreams?

Also ... maybe this will inspire you ... just a little bit:

The Future Is Now

A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

My favorite quote of all time is Alan Kay: ‘In order to predict the future, you have to invent it.’ I am all about inventing the future. Decide what you want the future to be and make it happen. Because you can. Write about your future now.

After yesterday's whining post about the repetitive nature of the prompts of late, I am happy to see this fun one from Cindy Gallop. Sure, it's about originality. But it's also about invention. And one of the most amazing things we have the ability to do as people - as the thinking, feeling, hurting, growing, fucked up people that we may be - is to invent ourselves. And, in doing so, invent our own futures.

Your MatchGirl has been in a state of reinvention for a while now. Long time readers of this little site will recall, no doubt, many a post about reinventing oneself. So often we think that once we hit a certain point in our lives - be it age or income or some other milestone - that we cannot change anymore. That we cannot make ourselves new. The cool thing about being the flawed people that we are is that we can make ourselves new and make our lives new at any time. It's not so hard.

I think about my future. And I think about the future that I want to have - with Boyfriend, at work, with my personal projects - and I'm working, constantly working (just ask Boyfriend, who thinks I am working too much) to make those thoughts into solid reality. Every day, the harder I work and the more I put into it, the closer I come to this future that I have invented in my mind's eye.

Gentle readers, the future is what you make of it. It's what you invent. It's what you want it to be. If only you can take the first steps. If only you can set yourself on your right path.